IN SANITY

Chapter 2

TOD POV

I sit and watch my self.
It feels like i am watching a film of my self
It's as if i were to of been placed in a video game and it is forever third person view (tps). I can't do any thing but watch. I see myself make a bowl of cereal and i watch as i eat and count how many times i chew before i swallow...it's 10.
I am forever in third person even when I'm first person....
I here the voices screaming from all diretion as i fall into this abyss that you call madness....
Help me so that I may stumble rather then continuously fall...
I'm scared to ask you.... And yet I need the help....
Save them from the demons who live within. Society claims to rule, and yet money is who seems to be at fault. I am constantly running away from my problems. Drink after drink untill all seems to go still and I,  me, am the only thing i hear, see, smell, feel. I can't hide they always find me.
I have tried rehab and many other forms of rehabilitation and I still can't be rehabilitated.
I fall,
I fall,
I fell and I created this alcohol induced prison that i call home.
Forgive me, him, me...
Forgive me for I am just the echo of a man who is a boy and a boy who is a man.
I sit on the edge of my bed, it is made of concrete and is built into the wall. The pillows are rough the walls are padded with white cushions and the toilet juts out of the wall and there is a button I push to flush. I push the button and i fall through the floor again the worlds fades to black and I grab at nothing and i feel as I start to fade away. Help me is what I want to ask but i can't. I wish I was still here and I am and at the same time I'm not. I walk down the long corridors and I look down each one and all full of bodies. I open a door and there is no ceiling, walls, or.....floor....
I fall through the darkness again and again the vocies and their infernal screaming is all I here I can't stop them so I go to my comfort. Drink and drink untill I'm the only one here...
I am Tod,
I am odd.
I live upstairs to a butcher shop,
I later burned it to the ground
Crimson floor are crimson no more.
Time to explore
As I step through that metal door.
No ceiling,  no walls, and again....no floor...
I fall forever into the madness there is only sound. Sounds of screams of those who have fallen with me,
I take them with me.
I try to avoid the door but then it becomes all the doors.
So i can't help me any more
Leave me alone..
I wanna go home...
I don't want to be on my own anymore.
Heaven sent me but the devil owns me
Madness is me so just leave it be
The colorful candy that has no flavor I am forced to take has no flavor so with food and water they say I submit to there will.
Run is what I can no longer do. So I decide to fix my own problems. I live upstairs to a bar.
I am Tod,
I am odd.
The sounds of wood crackling on an open fire,
The bar is burning now just like my desire to inspire the vocies with whom I must cope.
I am odd,
He is Tod.
I see a sky that is blue.
I see myself in third person view.
The floor is red the coffe shop is no longer ahead.
Burn burn... Please just burn instead.
The vocies are all i hear inside my head.
The door is here,
It is what i cannot help but fear.
Cry salty tears my dear,
Your best friend is here.
Madness is the one that is here,
And in it the darkness I fear.
There is a void I am told to the light that I must up hold.
The fear that we see is the self hatred that wont let me be...
I burn and I freeze,  everyday madness if you please.
Help me help me...

Hey you guys thx for the read and if you are reading this somethings i will write are based of of true events. Don't worry Tod is a fictional charter and so as we continue we will be introduced to Sarah Six Seyie(Se-ye). Bye and thx for the support!!