Self Esteem.
Self Esteem. What exactly is self esteem? Is it a feeling we get when we are confident of one's self or feeling lack of one's self? I seriously don't know cause I struggle with low self-esteem.
At some point in my life, I doubt myself a lot. I struggle really hard to keep my demons at bay. With all the negativity, all the pain, all the struggle to want to fit in. To feel accepted in society.
I wonder if my friends really care about me or are they just pretending?
I tend to lower my standards sometimes just to feel like I belong. My esteem lowers to the point were I don't treat myself with the love & respect that I know I deserve.
I struggle a lot with my self-esteem, because people tend to say things to put me down every fucking chance they get. I sometimes make a fool of myself or think I'm not worthy enough to be here. They call me names, say awful things about me.
My friends tell me not to listen to the negative stuff people say but that shit is hard & they don't understand. Every one struggles different.
My mind is like a ticking bomb. I can be so happy and boom, I start to think about all my insecurities.
I'm just an emotional little fuck who gets worked up over everything. Even if it's the littlest of things because that just how my mind works. So if I do get worked up, please don't tell me to "shut up" or that "I'm stupid" cause I will get offended. People just don't know little words can go a fucking long way for me.
I do take things harder than expected. I might not show it right away but by the end of the day, week or month, I will have a breakdown.
A lot of us have this fucking problem and people who don't understand what we go through, tend to tell us to get over it or man up but I say don't listen to them take your own time to heal. They don't understand our depression, anxiety or the insecurities that we face.
But I'm here to say be strong and courageous. Keep fighting, I know it's a hard battle but we will get through it one way or another. I believe in us & that we will make it no matter what.
