Hey this will be the first and last journal entry. Don't worry I'm not going to do any thing stupid... Well at least not today, hopefully not ever but you never know.
So back to what I came here to do. Well actually write seeing as you won't be able to hear me. I'm going to tell you a story, my story. I'm a girl who never ever cries in public or in front of people no matter what type of pain I'm going through.
I especially don't cry around kids my age. They're the worst type of people to cry in front of. I'm not saying this from experience but from watching what they do to others who just couldn't hold the tears in or just simply didn't know how cruel they would be.
But I sometimes make the mistake of letting a certain someone see me cry. It's something I wish wouldn't happen but it dose sometimes. And that person is one of the only two people who have ever seen me cry. The other being my father. He couldn't care less about the reason why I would be crying. But this certain person can only be identified as the reason why I would sometimes cry. They hurt me with the way their words cut through me as if I was simply made of paper. With the way their actions leave me torn to pieces. With the way they make me feel like a worthless pice of trash.
But I swear you would never know, you wouldn't even think there was any thing wrong with me. Why would you when the only thing you ever see from me are smiles and laughter that you wouldn't even think it was all forced. But when I just can't take it any more I cry and cry until I'm all out of tears. But this person always seems to manage to see me at my worst moments. That they just come to the terms that I'm just a big crybaby.
What they don't know is that it's the only way I can cope with things, because I don't have anyone to talk to, to vent too, to let all this out with. I don't have anyone to talk to about these things because I'm always that person for them, that they wouldn't even think I'm going through something myself.
They never ask me if I'm okay or if there's something wrong or anything! They just see me as someone that'll always be there for them to use then leave. That's what they've been doing since the start why would they stop now right. That person will never know. All they'll ever see me as is a...
Crybaby.
