Juice Pouch

Extra Sip

Things were situation normal: all delightfully fucked up at the penthouse.

"Kyungsoo, why is our son chewing on crackers that look like people?" asked Jongin.

Kyungsoo looked up from his laptop. "Because he's teething? Look at those cute little canines."

"Why are the crackers shaped like people though? What happened to his Animal Crackers?"

"They're People Crackers now," said Kyungsoo. "The takeover wasn't that dramatic, but some thing have changed. The local grocery store stocks People Crackers in the baby food section now, no more need to order them online."

"But why does he need to eat People Crackers when Animal Crackers are a thing?" asked Jongin.

"We don't want him growing up estranged from Night Person culture, do we?" asked Kyungsoo.

Jongin sat down on the couch and looked around the penthouse warily, still adjusting to the fact that canvas art made out of his and Kyungsoo's blood mixed together now adorned every wall thanks to several months of careful collection and artful splattering by a local Night Artist inspired by the work of Jackson Pollack and television's Dexter.

"It may not be necessary to have everything in his life be related to being a Night Person," said Jongin. "He was perfectly fine with Animal Crackers last week, for example."

"Listen Juice Pouch, we are out of the processing basement and into the light — with proper sunscreen — from now on," said Kyungsoo.

"Speaking of SSSB, when is Sehun getting back from Japan?" asked Jongin.

"Sunday night, but he's heading to Mexico on Tuesday to swim with sharks," said Kyungsoo.

"Why?" asked Jongin.

"He says it helps him develop resistance to the fear that Night People are going to randomly bite him. I guess he thinks that if sharks don't bother, why would humans," said Kyungsoo.

"How does that even make sense?" asked Jongin.

"I honestly don't know, I think it's just a tech bro thing that he wants to write off on his taxes as a medical expense," said Kyungsoo.

Jongin looked over Kyungsoo's shoulder at the laptop screen.

"Soo, what are you working on?" asked Jongin, his voice wary.

"I'm just drafting a proposal for a children's book," said Kyungsoo. "It's called 'Jongin Jr. has Two Daddies (and one of them sucks blood).' It's kind of an all-in-one book to introduce kids to the concept of gay dads and Night People at the same time."

"Are you sure you want to combine two complicated topics into one story?" asked Jongin.

"Yeah," said Kyungsoo. "Kids are great with complexity. Baekhyun often simultaneously wants to play in the bath but also scream like he's melting when he hits the water."

"That's not quite...the same..." said Jongin before giving up. "Anyway, my cousin will be here soon and he's going to watch Baek while we get out of the house for a night. Surprise, it's date night, Jongin Jr.'s daddies need to get laid."

"Your cousin Junmyeon?" asked Kyungsoo.

"No, he's probably at work. He just made partner."

"Oh, your cousin Minseok then," said Kyungsoo.

"Nope, busy managing his family's industrial cleaning business, I think."

"Who does that leave?" asked Kyungsoo.

The buzzer rang and Jongin walked over to answer the door. While opening it he said, "Are you seriously not going to respond to the part where I mentioned date night fucking?"