Arepas de mi Corazón

First. La dominó.

[La arepa dominó / The domino arepa consists of black beans and white cheese.]

DOMINÓ : BLACK AND WHITE BOARD GAME PIECES > MIXTURE OF FEELINGS.

SHE HAD GOTTEN NO sleep at all over the last 26 hours. The cheapest plane tickets are the ones that make many stops, so that was the one she had bought. After setting foot in Panama City, Freiburg, Munich and Portugal, she had finally arrived.

Barajas airport was immense, although she had already expected this as per Madrid was the capital of a big country. She had always lived in the capital before, so she doesn't know what to expect now that she is settling in Salamanca, a small, scholar city.

She had been told by many friends and family members that taking a taxi in Madrid's airport was almost a sin, but they had not explained exactly what to do instead. She supposed there was a bus that could take her to the nearest metro station or to the bus central station, but she felt lost. Even though she counted as an adult here and almost anywhere in the world, she felt like a little child who lost her mom at the supermarket after looking at a toy for too long. Never the one to lose control of her emotions, Tamara felt like she could cry anytime now.

Even though she knew doing it would take her nowhere, she couldn't help transforming the price of the taxi in euros to bolívares. It would cost her four-month's pay even though she earned more than the basic salary. Nevertheless, she was too afraid to ask someone in the airport how to get home without taking a cab, images from Taken flashing in her mind. Her dad was no Liam Neeson and he was trapped in Venezuela. He couldn't play spy to save her life just now.

She decided to take a taxi, hoping to find a job in less time than what she had planned.

"Where to, my lady?" the cab driver asked.

"Buses central station, please." Answered Tamara. She could feel goosebumps on her skin, the interaction leaving her voice trembling. Social anxiety was something she had lived with forever. She had even improved with Patricia's help until therapy was not a primary expense for her family.

The ride was not too long, considering it was 4 a.m. and there was not too much traffic, but it was long enough to leave her almost poor. When she got to the bus station, she decided to sit up against a wall and eat a bag of potato chips while she waited for her bus. Tamara was extremely tired, but she couldn't afford to close her eyes because she knew if she did, she would not wake up. She had tried to sleep on the plane, but there was always an impediment or something that made her uncomfortable. If it wasn't for the old man that got in the plane on Panama and decided to talk to her about his -defective if she must say so- sleeping pills all the way to Freiburg, it was the lack of blankets and generosity with the air conditioner -programed to leave one's eyes dry-, or the extremely attractive flight attendant, who, in Tamara's mind counted as a distraction.

But day dreams had never helped her sleep -only once, when she was looking at Tom in history class and thinking of him kissing her at that night's party, but she was not sure if it was that what made her fall asleep or the incessant low-voice chattering of Ms. Perez, an old lady who surely hadn't had sex in years. This was easily noticeable by the way she graded their papers-. Tom was her best friend. She had gone through a phase in tenth grade when she developed feelings for him, but she convinced herself he was just attractive and moved on. Her best friend, Sofía had helped her move on and told her they weren't meant to be, he liked other people but that was not a problem, she said. Turns out he liked Sofía, and even though Tamara hated her for it, she soon realized that it wasn't her fault. Being the third-wheel is bad enough, but being your best friend's tag along is a nightmare.

Although those times were hard, Tamara could not blame them, not after Sofía had been kidnapped at age 15 and never came back. She felt guilty resenting her for what had happened, Sofía's life was more important than any love interest. Sofi's mom still believes she is alive, which is sad, because the cabrones -the only way to call them- who took her asked for ten million dollars, believing Sofía's family was rich or something, and they couldn't collect the money. Not even asking all their relatives for money, people on the streets and starting a GoFundMe page. 

It's been five years since and Tamara only hopes her friend had been able to kill herself. It was preferable than staying with them and being abused in god knows how many ways. Tomás left for Munich heart-broken not long after that, and Tamara was left alone. She remained friends with Tom, but they were not as close, almost virtual friends.

Tamara got up, blaming herself for having those terrible thoughts roam around her mind again and again. Her bus was here, Salamanca awaited.