It's Okay, We're All PC

Chapter 2

As Tweek approached his school, he kept scanning the faces of children he walked by. If they were smiling, they were making fun of him. He took one last sip of his coffee before throwing the styrofoam cup on the ground. "Nngghhh, I gotta g-get our of here!" But before Tweek could get anywhere, a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned around.

"Dude, calm down." Craig said softly, looking Tweek in the eyes. Tweek stared at him and blinked.

"C-Craig? What d-do you w-want?" Tweek asked, looking down at Craig's hand. Craig followed Tweek's gaze and quickly took his hand away.

"Tweek, I know how we can stop the Asian girls. We just have to pretend we're gay."

"Wh-what!?" Tweek exclaimed, pulling at his hair. "But I-I'm not g-gay!" Craig grabbed Tweek by the shoulders.

"Listen, Tweek! We have to say we're gay so we can break up, then the Asians will leave us alone!" Tweek looked at Craig. He always thought Craig had the nicest eyes.

"B-break up?" Tweek lifted his hand to place it on Craig's right arm, but stopped once he realized what he was doing. His heart stung as the words 'break up' replayed in his head. "We're n-not together!  What if th-they don't b-believe us?"

"We just have to act like we're breaking up."

"A-acting!? I'm a terrible actor! Nngghhh I'll m-mess the whole thing up!" Craig tightened his grip on Tweek's shoulders.

"You won't have to do much, just follow my lead." He assured Tweek, giving him a gentle smile.

"I-I can't, Craig!" Tweek tried to shimmy his way out Craig's grip, but it was to no avail.

"Tweek, listen. You're capable of so much more than you know, and I believe in you." Craig let go of Tweek. "I know you can do this."

"Y-you believe in me?" Tweek asked softly. His heart was racing more rapidly than it usually was. Tweek could still feel Craig's hands on his shoulders, although they now rested on either side of Craig.

"I always have." Affirmed Craig with a smile.

"Okay boys, we're gonna be talking about being gay, but first, I'm gonna give each of you $100."  PC Principal said, handing Craig and Tweek each a $100 bill.  The two boys looked at each other.  They never thought they'd be in PC Principal's office discussing homosexuality.  "So brave."  PC Principal added, wiping away a tear from his eye.  "Now we're gonna y'all about consent.  Craig, you may find yourself in a situation where you want to touch Tweek's penis, you could say 'hey Tweek, are you comfortable with me touching your penis at this time?'  Give it a try."

"But I don't want want to touch his penis.  And I'm NOT GAY."  Craig snapped.

"Okay, but hypothetically if you were gay and wanted to touch Tweek's penis, you would HAVE to get consent.  Let's try it."  Craig sighed and turned towards Tweek.

"Tweek, are you comfortable with me touching your penis at this time?"  Craig asked, voice low.

"Wh-what!?  No!"  Tweek responded.

"That was good, but Tweek, next time try 'No, Craig, I do not feel comfortable with that at this time.'  Now Tweek, what would you say to Craig if you wanted to put your entire forearm up his anus?"  PC Principal looked expectedly at Tweek.

"Wh-what!?"

Walking up to the staircase where the Asians sat, Craig noticed Tweek walking towards him. "Tweek, I need to talk to you." He said, grabbing Tweek's hand. It was warm and clammy, presumably from the stress Tweek was feeling about 'the break up.'

"Y-yeah? What is it?"

"Look, I just don't think it's working with us." Craig said, using an overcompensating amount of hand gestures.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tweek asked, his voice shaking.

"We are gay, but I don't think we will work as a gay couple together." He told Tweek, using an even more monotone voice than usual.

"B-but, Craig..."

"No, Tweek.  We are breaking up."  A gasp befell the crowd of students gathered around the boys.

"So that's it?"  Tweek muttered.

"Wh-what?"  Craig asked.  He and Tweek had done everything they needed to, why was Tweek continuing it?

"You're just gonna give up on me?"

"Tweek, dude, what are you doing?"  Craig quietly asked.

"What am I doing?  I opened myself up to you, Craig.  I let you in, and you're breaking up with me?"  Tweek shouted.  "And who's Michael?  I went through your phone last night and you were talking about hooking up with him!"

"Tweek, I'm not gay and neither are you!"  Craig yelled, the amount of anger he was feeling made his through dry and tight.

"I opened myself up to you and walked in and shit on me!"  Tweek yelled.  By this time, tears were rolling down his face.  "You made me believe in myself Craig, y-you made me feel important, but it was all a scam!  I-I-I..."

"Come on, Tweek."  Wendy said calmly and quietly, taking his arm and walking away with him.  Craig stood alone, feeling small and insignificant among the sharp glares of students.  Craig's jaw hung slightly open as the students started walking away, talking among themselves about how much of a dick Craig was.

"What in the fuck actually just happened?"