Confusion

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October 2017
You Have a new friend request on Facebook @6am
I woke up and their was it. My ex . Our of all people I thought why me ? All the hurt ? All the pain why friend me now ? Maybe his so called engagement is over 😅😅.
That evening I accepted and texted "hi".  From that evening on  we talked . Never thought a guy who hurt me so bad . I cried days and nights over  I would sit here text again .
October 20th 2017 he texted me on messenger  Kashari you are the girl I want , my mother loved you , she loves speaking to you and you love talking to her , my family loves you , I love you , I want to be back with you , I promise you I will have a promise ring. 
Ding? DING?
A door bell sound went in my head , as I Lau there in my bed that night . Every second re reading that message like is this real ? I feel sick to my stomach like bubbles about burst out my chest and like my heart about crack within my best.  Do I still feel the hurt? Do I still love him ?  I able to go through what he put me through again ?  I don't know what to do .

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