Pain

Depression...

We're too young to be sad all the time.

We're too young to be mad at each other.

We should be having fun and living our lives like there's no tomorrow.

But my sadness is killing me slowly...

It's literally tearing at my skin and I pick and scratch till its gone...

It hurts... and it leaves blood behind...

I don't know why I'm crying... I'm so sick of crying...

Is this my fault?

I don't feel safe to be alone in my own mind.

I don't know if I can trust anyone at this point...

I can tell the truth but people will still think I'm lying...

I just want someone to know what its like to be trapped in my head...

The way it changes its mind...

The screams...

The cries...

Or that voice...

And then I love this man that has made a huge impact on my life but I can't even love myself...

How do I love myself...

I also don't feel like I can be myself...

Why can't I be myself?

Why do I feel so worthless?

Why do I feel like everyone hates me...

Why do I feel like I'm not important at all?

That voice tells you, "it's only a little sharp, don't be a bitch."

Shut up!

I just hate being mad.

I just hate feeling sad. 

And yet... I'm numb...

I just want to tell someone that I'm sad...

But when someone asks whats wrong you don't know how to explain WHAT IS WRONG cause your choking...

Choking on what to say...

And then you have to think about it...

And you don't know why...

Why are you sad?

then there's that voice... "Fucking figure out why you're sad!"

Then you being to think that you're selfish, that you're being sad on purpose!

That you're overreacting and you need to stop!

"Stop making them feel bad for you!"

So all you say is...

"Nothing. Why?"

And then you regret it and think...

DAMN IT! I should've told them I should've said something...

Stop listening to that god damn voice!

But they ask you if your sure and all you say is...

"Yeah, I'm just tired..."