Should I stay or should I go?

Escape

The hallway was silent as I made my way downstairs, making sure to keep quiet as to not awake my sleeping mother. I had been imprisoned in this place I was forced to call home for too long, and I needed to break free from my mother's constricting grasp. I have had enough of her lies and empty promises, all her lectures that would only made me think even lower of myself. I didn't want to live with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am. It was already hard enough to know that the one person who claimed they would always believe you, not believe a single word that comes out of your mouth when you need their help the most. Not even my biological father stood up for me when I confessed to the unspeakable things my mother's husband had been doing to me for almost a year. And I trusted my step father almost as much as much as I trusted my grandfather.

Why was my family all of a sudden turning their back on me? Was it because I was struggling in school? Because they thought I was just saying this to get attention?? Was I not trying hard enough to be the daughter they wanted me to be??? Why?! I wipe my tears away as I silently disable the alarm, I don't bother covering the speakers, my mom would most likely assume it was my aunt coming back from work. I had always been raised under the impression that family was more important than anyone else. Your friends will never be there for you when you need them the most, they'll leave you and not care if you get hurt.

But what happens when it's the other way around? When your friends are more like family to you then your actual family? What do you do then? What are you supposed to think when all your life you were supposed to live by this one thing, only to realized it was nothing but lies? I tried to push away this reality for so long and act as if nothing was wrong, as if everything was perfectly fine.

I made my way out of the house, calling my friend and telling her that I was on my way. I couldn't just walk out of my house with my phone, as much as I wanted to take it, I didn't want to bring anything the police could use to track me down. I had made extra sure to only talk about my plans of leaving home either in person or over the phone, that way it'd be much harder for them to find me.

This is it, I'll finally be free! I no longer have to live in fear of being myself! I can be happy ...

If only my guilt hadn't got the better of me