There was a heat wave in the country. Everyone was outside, even Lucifur. Just his luck that his human was a stupid old lady who was always cold and turning her house into a desert.
Lucifur felt like he was slowly getting baked. It was too hot to do anything. Even chasing birds was impossible. On most days birds stayed away from his territory, but now they were sitting in his tree.
He could hear them laughing. If he didn't do anything than his reputation would be at stake.
Lucifur sent quickly one of his signature catcalls out and moments later his two loyal companions or loyal slaves as Lucifur preferred to call them appeared: Hellcat and Mafioscat.
<Catch them! I'm in need of air conditioning. Wing air conditioning.> Lucifur ordered.
As expected those butt-hole-licking dumbasses got to work immediately.
Lucifur stretched his paws and contemplated getting a nice bowl of cool milk. But the sun felt too good on his ginger-coloured fur so Lucifur remained at his spot and watched his slaves trying to complete their duty. It was way funnier than the stupid sit-coms his human watched. This was quality television.
<I'm waiting, your lazy pieces of fur!> he meowed and began with his tenth nap of the day.
<Yes, Sir!> they answered.
After awhile Lucifur was woken by the sound of branches breaking. Lazily he opened his eyes. Hellcat had fallen in the pool.
<Silence, stupid!> Lazily he closed his eyes again.
<Er... Sir? I think Hellcat is drowning.>
<Whatever...He has nine lives anyway. Just get me some damn milk!> And Lucifur went back to napping again.
When he was woken again, a bowl filled with milk was placed before him and Mafioscat was waving birds around.
Lucifur carefully tasted the milk and puked.
<Cold milk I said, you damned stupid!> He said while emptying the bowl above Mafioscat's cat.
<You're dismissed. Where is your stupid counterpart?>
<He is burying a life.>
<Why am I even trying?> Lucifur shook his head and catcalled the local paper The Furry Times. <I would like to place an advertisement.>
A/N
What did I just write?
