Summary: Each month Richie gets sadder. Will someone be able to stop his downward spiral before it's too late?
Pairing: Reddie, slightly implied Benverly
TW/ warnings: suicidal thoughts, self harm, suicidal things, parental abuse
A/N: no pennywise au (who is she? I don't know her.), takes place in the late 80's, all of the losers are 16/17, nothing nsfw so it doesn't matter that much, I'm writing some of this from experience, some of it not, so I'm sorry if it all doesn't tie in that well.
Words: 7.9k
Richie had always thought of himself as an outcast. Yeah, he was a part of the losers club, but he felt that even with his friends he didn't fit in. He felt that no one in his group really valued him. He felt as if everybody in the group had a place except for him.
Bill had been the leader of the club. He was the best at making decisions, and he was a genuinely good friend. Then there was Stan, sure had an obscure sense of humor, but he was also really smart, and he had a way of just knowing things. Mike was basically the group's historian. He knew all about the town's past to the point where he seemed obsessed. Ben was the group's poet lover-boy, with the kindest laugh you have ever head. How could you complete a group without a Ben? Beverly was the only girl in the group, so how could everyone not love her? She was pretty, smart and had the best sense of humor. She was just so chill overall. Then there was Eddie, whom Richie adored. Eddie was obviously the hypochondriac, pocket-sized nurse of the group. They all somehow fit just perfectly in the group. But then there was Richie. Sure he could crack a few at least decent jokes here and there but, what else was he good for?
August
School had just ended and kids were pouring out of the building like a tidal wave. Richie and Beverly had gone to their usual spot on the side of the school where no one would be able to see them unless they were looking directly at the two. Without words being exchanged Bev took a cigarette out of her leather jacket and put it between her lips. Richie took out his lighter from his oversized jean jacket and lit the cigarette. They sat down on the side of the wall and Bev let out a puff of smoke. She then proceeded to look at Richie and give a gesturing motion to the cigarette. Richie took it between his fingers and pushed it between his lips.
"So what's going on with you Tozier?" Bev asked breaking the comfortable silence between them as Richie let out a puff of smoke upwards.
"What's it to you Ringwald?" Richie replied with a grin handing the cigarette back. That had been their thing. Every day after school they would come outside and share a cigarette.
"Well since you didn't feel the need to share your crush on Eddie with me, I now know that I need to ask what's going on in that mind of yours," she replied as it was obvious, but nevertheless with a smirk. If Richie had the cigarette in his mouth he would have ended up spitting it out creating a burn on his black skinny jeans. Thank god he didn't.
"I do not have a crush on Eddie," Richie responded looking at Bev as if she had gone crazy. Bev took the cigarette away from her mouth revealing her almost shit eating grin as she blew away the smoke.
"Surrree you don't," she said handing back the cigarette with a giggle.
"I'm serious Bev, I don't like Eddie! I'm not gay!" He defends and immediately regrets it. He looks around to make sure no one is listening to their conversation. After he does a thorough examine, he lets out a relieved exhale and takes the cigarette from Bev.
