it wasn't anything at all. i didn't even notice you in our first year, but I somehow clearly remember our first interaction. i simply forgot my earbuds so I asked you for yours. it was strange because I didn't even know you. somehow we got paired as dance partners later on. it's probably cause we're both tall. I was scared to be honest, because all I wanted was a friend, but whoever I got close to ended up liking me. kinda stuck up right? well this time I somehow ended up liking you. ironic. for the longest time I thought that we were both on the same page and that we both thought alike. so many people convinced me that you thought the same. boy they were so fucking wrong. rejected is what I was. we were still friends, which made you think that I was over you. we became closer than ever before, to the point where people thought that we were an actual couple. I guess you were tired of that because you did the thing that I hated. you asked me to help you get someone else. I was so happy. not really, but you really liked her and I knew that. I saw you become shy for the first time. you were so concerned that you looked bad in front of her but you didn't even know how fucking good you looked to me. I did my best to make her like you. I was there to help you. fuck. I wish I wasn't there, but how could I not be. you were someone so special to me. tell me. how could I not be there? sometimes I still question you and if you really do like her, but I'm so tired of thinking of the what if's. i don't know what to do anymore. oh. update. you told her you liked her. I'm proud of you. I'm genuinely proud, because I know how hard it is to confess. you said she responded. I'm hoping she'll say yes. am I really though? I really wish I could be fucking happy for you. I fucking wish. fuck. I hate you I really fucking do. but I fucking hate myself more than I'll ever fucking hate you.
