Wanderlust ✓

1. Hopelessness

"... Before our next song folks, if you are caller number 14 RIGHT NOW, then you will be the lucky winner of a ticket to the Wanderlust music festival in Miami! All-inclusive and we will pay for your flight and hotel! So if you want this to be you next month, call us now!"

I froze in my seat. This was the moment I've been waiting for, this exact announcement. Butterflies filled my chest as I realized the opportunity that was so elegantly placed in my lap. So why wasn't I frantically dialing in the radio station's number?

"Paige! That was the announcement, wasn't it? What are you waiting for? Call!" My best friend pulled her wonderful 2007 Honda over into a random neighborhood as she shook my shoulder, her red hair flying everywhere as she shook with me.

I blinked a few times, the initial shock wearing out and panic quickly replaced it as I realized what I needed to do. Small beads of sweat broke out across my forehead and my hands clammed up as I reached for my phone.

Pulling out my phone from my jean's back pocket, I watched the screen light up and hurried to type in my password (since the touch I.D wouldn't work with the sweat built up). With shaking fingers, I went to my recently saved and clicked on '114.4 FM'.

I looked over to Carly who gave me a reassuring smile as I put the phone up to my ear. I smiled back trying to even out my breathing but ultimately failed. The high pitch brill of the dial tone was barely heard over my heavy breaths as Carly stilled, grabbing my hand and squeezing lightly, excitement filling her green eyes.

It rang, and rang, and rang...

As the seconds ticked by, my optimism slowly faded away as my smile fell, my hope began to disperse but when I was about to end the call, a rushed voice came on the other end of the line.

"Hey, you're unfortunately caller number 15. Sorry!" The voice blurted out before he hung up and left the line with a beep. Slowly I lowered my phone, the once fluttering butterflies now felt like dinosaurs crushing my chest.

"Paige? What happened?"

Both of our smiles faded as the reality set in. I didn't win. I didn't win the contest I've been eyeing for weeks. I felt crushed.

"Oh... honey, there are always other festivals and other contests to win. Don't make yourself sad over this. I hate to see you sad."

"Just take me home, Carly," my hoarse voice said as I cleared my throat. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes threatening to spill over the edge.

You knew you wouldn't win! But there was that small amount of hope...

She drove as we sat in a tense silence, the radio host continued playing rock and alternative hit songs.

As we arrived at my house, I didn't have enough energy to say anything to her other than a muttered goodbye as I grabbed my backpack and quickly got out of the car.

"Wait!" She pulled on my left wrist, holding me in place. "It will be okay, Paigey. The universe will be good to you another time!"

I smiled at her cheesy line and thanked myself for picking her as my best friend.

It will be okay! This is so stupid to get myself worked up over.

Carly started up the car once more, flashing me a small sympathetic smile before saluting me and driving off.

I shuffled up the small driveway to my front door, the pale blue paint on the bricks chipping off slightly as a small breeze blew past. I rummage through my bag for my keys, well, for my key chain. It was so jam-packed that it was easier to find. Grabbing the familiar metallic square, I pulled my keys from the depth of my bag. I looked at the small record player as the disappointment began to build all over again. With shaky hands, I placed my house key into the lock and turned.

Quietly I opened my front door, just wanting to be alone in my room, a sudden feeling of exhaustion washed over me, like life had been slowly drained from my being. Slipping my shoes off, I began to shuffle towards the stairs.

As I dragged my legs up the light carpet, I heard a voice from the kitchen call out to me.

"Paige? Is that you?"

Great. My mom was home early, and I wasn't in the mood to reenact what just happened, knowing she was rooting for me all week as I listened 24/7. But I wasn't going to ignore my patiently waiting mother, so I retraced my steps and made my way to her.

"It didn't happen Mom. I didn't win." It felt too overwhelming to say those words and the emotions suddenly hit me like a train.

My mom must've noticed my deep frown because she rushed over to me in her apron, wrapping her arms around my small frame in a comforting hug. That was when I lost it and the tears finally fell. Sobs echoed off the walls as I tried to quiet them and get myself into control.

"Oh, sweetie." She squeezed me tighter as we rocked back and forth. "It was the radio contest, wasn't it? I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted this."

I realized how embarrassing this was. Crying over a stupid concert that wouldn't ever happen. I tried pulling back from my mom but she held me in place.

"Paige, I wish I could take you. We just don't have the money right now."

I pulled back, wiping the salty tears that were still running down my face.

"I know that, Mom. And I would never ask that of you or dad but I just got too attached to this and I shouldn't have." I laughed at myself in humorous misery. "Carter will be happy I didn't win. He would've been jealous if I had."

She reached up, wiping my remaining tears and let out a sad chuckle. "That's very true. I promise you'll get to that festival one day."

•••

My radio softly played "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" as I sat on my Teal duvet, trying to figure out what "x" equals. Textbooks scattered across my bed and a cold mug of tea sat wasted on my makeshift bedside table. The dim glow from my laptop and a small desk lamp illuminate the room as a chewed slightly on the tip of my pencil.

"Hello late listeners! Congrats to Parker Collins today for winning a Wanderlust music festival ticket, BUT we have another surprise for our fans. If you're one of the few listening now at 1 am, and still want to go to the music event of the year, call me NOW! Be the first and you'll be on your way to Miami!"

This time, I had no doubts.

With quick reflexes, I scrolled through numbers and found the one I had already tried calling today. My chipped nails drummed on the back of my phone case as once more my breathing increased.

Two rings. That was it before I heard the voice of the radio host. Tensing up, I held my breath waiting for the same disappointment from earlier to return, to overshadow this new hope...

"Congratulations! You're the winner!"