Hello reader...I'm honoured to have you here...reading this story. Well, this is based on a true story...it's actually about my life. I dedicate this story to my mum...who passed away on the 18th July 2017😭😩
17 years and 11 months ago...i was born to a beautiful woman named Pravina. Well...after i was born..she got really sick. She almost died when i was born. The day she gave birth to me, she was diagnosed with kidney failure....while handing me over to my dad...she told him to name me Yajna. Life was brilliant but after 4 years she got critically sick and passed into a coma. She was then taken to the ICU in mru as she was critical. As i grew up..i got to know about this...which is why i actually hated i existed as i always thought that i was the cause of my mother's sufferings.
Anywhoo...the doctors in mru were not able to take the risk of getting my mum out of coma... So my dad decided to take my mum to Durban South Africa..where she was born.
The doctors in Durban gave my uncle,dad and family members a major shock by saying that my mother had very less time to live. She was seriously critical and there was no hope of her surviving. Alas...i believed that maybe God didn't want Pravina's two small children..that is my younger brother and I, to be deprived of a mother at such a young age...yes i was around 4 years old at that time and my brother was around 1 year old.
My family members did a lot of prayers for my mum...to Lord Krishna..the Supreme Personality of Godhead. My mother believed that he is divine and the purest of all. I guess a miracle happened and the doctors were able to save my mum. All of this happened 12 and a half years ago.
As i was a small child...i couldn't really understand what was happening to my mum..but as i grew up..i came to know about it. One day..my mum was really mad at me and she told me that when i was born...my dad wasn't happy at all as he wanted a son..not a daughter. I was really hurt upon hearing that. I hated why i was born because i always thought i wasn't a blessing to her...but rather a curse as she was diagnosed with kidney failure which is why for 12 and a half years she did dialysis three times a week...yes a huge needle inside her arm for 3 hours three times a week😰...that's really hectic.
Pravina was indeed an extremely strong woman according to me. It's very rare for people to do dialysis for so many years. People do it for 1 or 2 years and die...but my mom...she was the strongest of all...she was a pure spirit...God's gift to me.
However, I never understood her pain when i was younger...but now when she's gone forever..i can understand it. I wish she was here so that i could tell her the things I couldn't have told her. Even though she was sick and was told not to do any work, she would cook the bestest of the best food for us and she would help us for many things.
Many people never knew about her pain and behind her back they would talk shit...for e.g they would say.."she never comes out with us...all she does is stay at home and relax"...well if you know who they are...you wouldn't understand how it is to carry extra 10 litres of water in yr belly 24/7. These kinda people make the world bad.
On the 18th of July the tragedy appeared. Yes, that's the date when my mum, Pravina passed away...she went far away from me forever and ever.😟😢
Actually...two weeks before she died..she really did enjoy her past few days of life. Both weekends we went to stay at my aunt's house, my mum's brother's wife...well..he also passed away 2 years ago. The last weekend...my mum drank wine for the first time in her life...and she gazed at me and said "Yajna...for your 18th birthday you shall drink red wine"...and she showed me the way to drink it too.😂😂
On the 17th of July...i asked mummy if I could stay over for a few more days at kishori's house...kishori is my aunt's daughter...my best cousin sister. My mum looked at me and smiled. She patted my face gently and told me "yes my baby"....i was really sick that weekend. I had fever 38.5 degrees. Because of the amount of medications i had to take...my sugar level went really high.
On Monday...mummy couldn't do dialysis as she was collapsing on the dialysis machine. She told my dad not to tell me as i was sick myself but then as my aunt came to know that mummy was really critical...she brought me to my mum where i found out that she had thrombosis in her head, lungs and leg and she suffered from a heart attack. She wasn't waking up. As i went in...i called out for her several times then she woke up...there was no one as happy as i was for that particular moment. Her entire body was aching so much and she was feeling extremely hot so i was rubbing an ice pack on her back and head while Kishori held her hand and massaged her and Shyam...my younger brother massaged her feet. I was crying. The doctor told my dad and aunt that there was no hope of her to live anymore...it's over. My mum was creating havoc as she really wanted to drink diet coke as she was really thirsty...she swore the doctors too as they were telling her no.
I have no regrets as we fulfilled her last wish...to drink diet coke.❤ We then rushed her to the hospital where my aunt and i held my mum....i felt her dying in the van as i hugged her really tight crying. Her last words to me was "Yaj i'm dying". I can still hear it when i think of it. She was dead at the hospital. Shyam and I hugged my aunt really tight as we cried our heart out.
Sometimes i think that i wish she was here...but then i think of her sufferings she had...well it's better she's gone away from this human body to the Supreme Personality of Godhead where i know that she's in a much better world....away from hypocrites. I pray everyday for her happiness.
In exactly 6 days it's my 18th birthday and i feel no excitement about it. After all...both of my parents aren't here for my birthday...my mum is dead and my dad is gone to Durban for 10 days. It just feels like a normal thing to turn 18.
Actually the real reason as to why i hate I'm turning 18 is because my mum died on the 18th. But then i think of it as my mum got liberated on the 18th...away from the dark days. If she was here...she wouldn't have been happy to see me sad...so i think of it in a positive way.
I just wanted to say I love u loads mom...even though i never expressed it...but i do😢😟❤ I wish i could see you again...just one time...and hug you really tight...I feel lonely in this world..maybe it's a lesson...'you're born alone...you live alone...you die alone'.
MORAL; ❤DO IT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND IF IT'S TOO LATE...YOU'LL REGRET IT THE MOST❤
Love,,,From your beloved daughter Gina. (She used to call me Gina)❤❤❤XOXO
Thank you for reading about my childhood and i hope i could help you to realise something about life.
