"Inferiority"

One: The Boy

I uncomfortably sat still next to the boy in red. I stayed quiet as I felt the awkward atmosphere surrounding us, or possibly just me.

“Alright, team,” our assigned group leader enthusiastically said, “what’s our plan?” We were discussing over our designs and plans for our first project in the Science subject. It was due next week.

There were obviously whispers of ideas between them. Sadly, I was outside the circle they formed, once again. I just lowered my head, feeling low as ever. Maybe they didn’t know I was their group mate? Sometimes, I doubt they even know I existed. Like always, I just sat there, trying to listen to them as quietly as I can. My grip on my pen, which seems to have lost its purpose now, became tighter as I felt very small compared to my group mates. I felt useless.

In the midst of the silent whispering of gibberish, sprung a loud and confident voice, demanding attention. “I have an idea,” the boy next to me declared. We all fell mute, and paid attention to his strong words.

He spoke with great confidence as he introduced his proposal. We were dead silent. No, it wasn’t his idea that mesmerized us, but the way he delivered it. His words were full of pride and high self-esteem. You can sense superiority and high intellect in his tone of voice.

He spoke like a powerful king declaring proclamations to his just soldiers. He was like a great mountain that stood tall in the open sky, overseeing all with his magnificent stature, and we, the small trees, were mute and bowed down to his melodic chant as we are mesmerized by his great, unfailing superiority.

Indeed, he seemed superior, far more than I could ever dream of. After telling his plan, we decided to go for his, and started to work. Once again, I was barely given anything to do.

And as I finished my very simple task, I just stared at the boy again. He was working so diligently, yet he sat there, so preserved. His labouring figure made me feel tons of emotions, emotions I have felt before, yet came back with more fire and strength. I clutched my chest. “I don’t get it,” I thought to myself. “I don’t get it at all! What am I feeling?”

Our leader checked in on him and was immediately impressed. “Keep it up!” he complimented. He came to check on the others, and not me. Nope, he didn’t even bother to look my way. “Ah, yes, I know this feeling.” I bit my lower lip, as I finally realize this burning feeling I feel.

“Why is this? How can he silence the deafening gibberish by just his voice? How can he stand so tall above us all? How can he demand dominance so easily? Is it because he’s smart? Is it because he’s so perfect? Is it because he is so diligent? I feel so worthless, so irrelevant, and so dead. Why? Why do I feel so small?” Different thoughts flew around my mind.

I looked down at my feet, trying to hold back my idiotic tears. “I know this feeling.” Averting my gaze back to the working boy, I felt like an ant. “It’s inferiority.”

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Thank you for reading part one. The continuation will come sooner or later, I promise.
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Next Chapter’s Title : “The Soaring Bird and the Lonesome Ant”