Old Bones | Jax Teller

Company

Kennedy's eyes snap open from another dream about Opie. Since her brother's passing, they plagued her with dreams where he was still alive or he was dying and she was trying to save him. She wished just for one night she could get a break from her misery and dream about nothing.

It still seemed unreal that Opie was gone. She liked to think he was just still in Chino because she could get by with thinking that. He was just away. But even with those five years, she never got used to Opie being gone. Now was different. He wasn't a phone call or letter away; he was gone permanently.

Kennedy is trying to figure out what that even meant to her. Opie was the most important man in her life. He was her protector–her best friend–and now he was gone and it left her with this black hole in her chest. Since Jax had told her of Opie's passing, she had this heavy feeling in her chest. It's as if there are intense pressures that never seem to go away. It's as if there are intense pressures that never seem to go away. Kennedy wonders if she is depressed because it sure doesn't feel like grief.

But she reminds herself that Opie wouldn't want her to give up or be throwing a pity party for herself. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't afford it. Donna and the kids need her to be strong. She couldn't afford to take a time out and it wasn't as if she was the only one to lose Opie.

However, just laying in bed being swallowed by her grief sounds appealing, at least for a day. It isn't as if she had anything on her agenda.

She thinks maybe she should've just allowed Jax to stay, but a part of her didn't like to look at her grief reflected in her. Looking at Jax was like looking in the mirror. She couldn't handle her pain and she sure as hell knew that she wouldn't be able to handle Jax's. Honestly, she appreciated he seemed to fall off the face of the earth for the past month.

She knows what almost happened on the roof of the clubhouse that night was a factor, but the overall situation was the driving force that kept the distance.

Still, she missed Jax for the past month.

Since she came to Charming, like Opie, Jax had always been there for her. She was sure it was downright annoying how she latched onto him. But if it wasn't for Jax and Opie, Charming wouldn't have been her home. As she thinks about it, Opie and Jax were her home and she just lost a part of her home. But she still has Jax.

For some reason, she feels things are about to get complicated with Jax.

Growing up with him and Opie, despite Jax acting like a brother, Kennedy never viewed him as a brother. He was family in a sense because of her father being a patch member and, at times, he was just her older brother's annoying best friend that co-signed on Opie's overprotectiveness. Yet, he was also someone she could talk to without worrying about disappointing her big brother. It wasn't as if she was telling him all her deep dark secrets, but he was there for her when she lied to both Opie and Piney about spending the night at a friend's house and ended up going to a party with a boy who ended up only trying to get into her pants. Jax had picked her up when she called him at 1 o'clock and let her crash at his recently purchased house when she was 17. He was the one to who she complained about Opie spending too much time with his girlfriends or how she wanted to fight some random girl in school for whatever reason back in the day.

As she grew up and discovered the appeal of the opposite sex, she could admit she found Jax attractive. She wasn't all heart eyes for him. She knew an attractive man when she saw one, and Jax knew he was attractive as well. In high school, she had to deal with girls gossiping about their fantasies with Jax or a few girls trying to be her friend to get close to him.

Kennedy was also aware of the few rumors about her and Jax, especially on the days he would pick her up from school. It was almost laughable and slightly disturbing considering she knew about Jax's revolving door of women, and it was a big put-off. She thought it was unhealthy, and it surprised her Jax didn't have any major STDs or have more mini-mes running around. Kennedy wasn't a prude by any stretch and she had a few notches on her belt, but she wasn't a hit-and-quit-it person. She needed to have some connection to the person she was letting unbutton her pants.