How To (K)Not Have Sex {Smutty Klance-oneshot}

The Knot

"Hey, Keith?"

"Uh.. Yeah..?"

"Can I just ask... Why the hell you're getting so much bigger?!" Lance used his heels to kick into Keith's back, earning himself growls of annoyance and pain.

"Ow! What are you talking about?!" Keith leaned down and bit Lance's collarbone in retaliation, earning a yelp in response.

"You ass! You know exactly what! You're like, swelling or some other bull!"

"Swelli-?!" Keith abruptly cut off, huffing as he lay down on top of Lance. "Why're you getting so freaked out? Don't you do that too?"

"What?! Of course I don't! Dude, you seriously didn't know that other than getting hard, dicks aren't supposed to swell?! Didn't you ever have sex Ed?!"

Keith flushed, lifting himself up and looking down at where his dick penetrated Lance's ass still. "No, I didn't for your information.."

Lance sighed, his face softening at Keith's dejected expression. "Look, Keith... I'm not mad or anything. Just surprised. Plus, it might just sting a little.."

"Sorry..." Keith laid back down on top of Lance, hiding his face in Lance's chest. He practically started to purr as Lance began to gently stroke his hair.

"Hey, once you..shrink... Lemme see what's up, yeah?"

Keith grumbled in response, embarrassed. "It only happens when I cum, or get close to.."

Lance chuckled, scratching Keith's scalp gently. "I can do that, if you're up to it."

Keith smiled thinly, adjusting his head so he was gazing up at Lance. "I'm sure you can."

"Damn right, I can. Especially if this is anything to go by." Lance wiggled his ass, earning a small groan from Keith.

"Hey, watch it." Keith growled, playfully nipping Lance's ear.

Lance let out a soft puff of air, shivering at the contact. "You gonna make me?"

"If I could move without hurting you, I would."

"Babe, please. You're not the biggest thing I've had up my ass." He yelped when Keith smacked the side of his head. "I'm kidding!"

"Better be." Keith smiled fondly, kissing Lance's face over and over with affectionate pecks.

"H-Hey! That tickles!" Lance giggled, trying to push Keith's face away and smooshing his cheek against his hand.

"

-----

Lance pushed Keith so his back was against the wall, getting on his stomach so he was face to face with Keith's cock. His legs dangled off the edge of the twin sized bed, unable to fit with their current position.

"Seems normal enough right now." Lance looked up at Keith as he burrowed his nose into his pubic hair.

"I already told you when it swells." Keith mumbled, feeling his cock give an excited twitch at Lance's position.

Lance hummed in response, flashing Keith a quick grin before taking a tentative lick along the edge of his flaccid member. He took his time licking and suckling on it, enjoying himself as it slowly became erect, standing in all its 7 inch glory.

"Beautiful..." Lance mumbled softly against it, looking up at Keith again. "The only part of you that is, anyways."

"Shut it." Keith gently wacked him on the back of his head, holding in a moan when Lance suddenly sucked particularly hard. He made to tangle his left hand into Lance's hair (like he'd been trying to ever since Lance started), just to have it slapped away before Lance suddenly shot up, a triumph look in his eyes. A string of saliva connected his bruised lips to Keith's cock.