Painfully aware

The Honeymoon

After walking out of the church we had gone straight home to get our stuff ready for the honeymoon. It had taken some convincing but Roman had agreed to have our honeymoon at a cabin for a whole weekend. I loved the cabin we booked for our honeymoon. The forest was a place I found comfort and the thought of getting away from the city was one of the main reasons I was able to make it through the wedding ceremony. The thought of fresh air and nature brought out the first real smile all day.

The honeymoon was something we had not really discussed, so I had no idea what to expect as far as what was expected from me tonight.

I had moved into Roman's house officially last week. Most of my belongings were here but it didn't feel like home. I spent most of my time in a room downstairs. It was an implied rule that I wasn't allowed upstairs.

As I walked into my room to change I realized that this ridiculously expensive dress needed more than just two hands if I wanted it to come off without ripping anything. The bows and zippers proved to be superior in the battel to take of the dress.

I started biting my lip worried about having to ask Roman for help. It was unnerving to think about him taking clothes off of me but this dress was so beautiful I didn't want to risk a tear.

I let go of my reservations and decided I was going to ask roman for help. After all even if I am only a placeholder I could still ask him for help, right?

"Roman?! I need help!" I screamed in the direction of his room. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I peeked out my door and my stomach flipped when I saw him dressed in dark jeans and a tight fitting black shirt. He's always handsome, but when he's dressed comfortably my feelings for him seem more intense.

"What do you need help with?" I turned around and pointed at the zippers and bows on my back. he looked at them and then me before nodding.

"Turn around." his commanding tone made me feel weak in the knees but I ignored the horny teenager in my head and quickly turned around. He immediately went to work, not bothering to say a word, besides moving me one way or the other to get a better angle on the bows. his hands grazed my skin as he pulled down the last zipper and the warmth from his hand made my body tense.

"Thank you," was all I got to say before disappeared.

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I quickly fixed my sweats and t-shirt and grabbed my luggage ready to go.

"Got everything?" He asked as I came out.

"Yes." Was my only reply. Roman grabbed my luggage and tossed it into the trunk along with his. He then went to the passenger side to open the door for me. I got in while quietly thanking him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked as he sat down buckling his seatbelt. He seemed more comfortable now that we were away from the crowd.

"Famished, you know burgers sound really good right now," I said as I put on my seatbelt.

"You just read my mind." he said giving me one of his famous dimpled smiles. I could feel my heart rate go up and hands begin to sweat. Not wanting to ruin the moment I stayed quiet while the radio played quietly.

We drove for about thirty minutes before we arrived at Roman's favorite burger joint.

I was getting out of the car when he suddenly got an urgent call and asked me to go in and order for both of us.

"Be there in a minute. " he said some walking away. I shrugged and walked into the old fashioned diner the scent of food invading my lungs. I didn't realize how hungry I was until my mouth began to salivate at the smell.

"Table for one?" The hostess asked. He was handsome and had a bit of a flirty smile. I shook my head.
"No, my husband will be here in a moment." I said as I played with my ring. He nodded and walked me to a table without a second look. I guess that's how all men worked, you stop being a potential lay and they don't give you a second glance. I gazed over the menus on the table trying to decide what I wanted.

"Welcome honey, what can I get for you tonight?" A young woman asked giving me a pleasant smile. I looked towards the door hoping Roman would walk in, but he didn't.

"Two cheese burgers with fries please." I said quietly. She nodded while writing it down.

"Two drink? " she asked not bothering to look up.

"Just water please," I said while handing her the menu. She quickly repeated my order and then left. I looked at my watch. It had been fifteen minutes since I have been sitting here alone and still no sign of Roman. When the food arrived ten minutes later my appetite had gone out the window.

"Can I get it to go?" I asked trying not to look her in the eye. I felt so embarrassed. I wish I had just stayed in the car.

"Sure hun. Don't worry about it." She suddenly bagged everything and handed it to me. I paid for my food in my way out and left without another word.

As I slipped into the car with the food Roman looked up at me briefly and cleared his throat.

"Change of plans, Tory got worse so we're staying in town. I booked us a nice hotel close to the hospital," he said as he typed on his phone not even bothering to listen for a response. I nodded absentmindedly not knowing how else to respond. I felt a lump growing in my throat but I did my best to ignore the hurt that was filling me. what else did I expect? I knew that I would always come second to Tory. She was after all his top priority, while I was nothing more than a placeholder.