<ELMO'S POV> "Welcome to my special episode, featuring my hottie girlfriend Dora the Explorer!" *viewers in San Francisco shocked at the world girlfriend, as they run to go buy some Herbal Advil at Whole Foods* Dora walks into the frame, her beauty blinding. Her ugly bob was curled, trimmed, and had a balayage applied. She had a Brandy Melville tube top on, a pair of high waisted skinny jeans with a belt, and of course, AirPods. Her sunglasses and shoes were Gucci and her hand was adorned with a Louis Vuitton tote. "Hey, losers. It be yo chick, Dora!" I stared at Dora in awe, wondering how I managed to get such a lady. I then licked myself because, like a cat, that's how I groom myself. All of the children watching the episode giggled. Then, out of nowhere, Dora licked me. We both smiled and then faced the camera. "Today we'll be teaching you how to handle an annoying ex!" Hundreds of parents ran into their living rooms to switch the television off. Dora walked out of the frame and dragged in Diego. He was bruised and his hair was scruffled. "Diego, where were you?" cried Dora, angered that he ruined the whole vibe. Diego gulped. "You threw me off a cliff." Dora rolled her eyes. This Diego dude seems dramatic AF. I then, to start off the episode, said this. "Here's a prime example! Remember, ladies, if at any time he makes you preplexed, then off the cliff, goes your ex! It's a great workout and it's how I get thicc!" I then flexed for the camera. Dora gushed at my rock hard biceps.
"You got guns, Elmo!"
I blushed.
She was almost as pretty as she was in this episode:
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