Pack or Prey (Wolfblooded book 1)

Chapter 5, part 1

I'd finally managed to stop crying a whole twenty minutes when the door opened. The familiar heavy thunk of hard-soled boots approached the bed behind me, and I squeezed my pillow tighter in my arms. I didn't want to look at him right now. Not when the wounds from my sister's rejection were still fresh and burning. I had no one. Nothing. And it was my fault. All of it.

When I didn't turn and look at him, Frank came around the foot of the bed. I buried my face into the pillow. The closer he got, the more I hid until, finally, he whispered, "Harley?"

"What?" I said into the pillow.

The bed sagged by my knees and I could feel his warmth drawing closer to me, but he didn't touch me. He kept at least that much distance between us, and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

"Harley, come out of there," he said, his voice still soft.

I shook my head, which only buried my face deeper into the pillow. If I didn't stop this, I'd suffocate from my own stubbornness.

"C'mon, babe. Let's talk."

"What for?" I asked, finally pulling my face up and looking him in the eye. "You're done, remember? I think we both are."

"You gonna go home, then?" he asked and the emptiness in his voice made my stomach clench tight. Did it really mean so little to him? Did I mean so little to him?

The truth was, I knew I couldn't go back home. Lori had made that abundantly clear. I couldn't go back, but I didn't want him to know that. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I had no one else but him.

"I'll figure it out," I said simply, resting my head back down. "Don't worry about me. I told you I can find my own way."

The minutes ticked on agonizingly slow as we both sat in total silence. I'll admit a small part of me was hoping that he would shout 'No, please, don't go, I'll do anything,' but it was a child's wish. Lori had destroyed that part of my heart that was still back home with Mom and Dad and left only that which Frank had stolen away so long ago. It was that sad remnant that screamed for him to do or say something, anything, that showed me he still cared. That he still wanted me.

"I don't know how to handle this," he said finally. "Any of it. Joy Anne, as much shit as that bitch talks, she's right about some things. You don't know anything. Not a thing about us. You can't be with us and not really be a part of us. You should go."

The flutter of hope that began once he broke the silence, died away with each word. So that was it. He really was done with me. And agreeing with that horrible piece of trailer-trash... I just couldn't handle that. Not after what I'd seen.

I threw the pillow to the floor and swung my legs off the bed before I could talk myself out of it. Jumping to my feet, I was resolute in leaving.

"Fine. I'm gone."

His hand caught the crook of my arm. It was gentle, but firm enough to keep me from taking another step. Even though he had a captive audience, I wasn't about to look at him. I couldn't let him see how hurt I was.

"You should go," he repeated, "but I don't want you to. At least, not before I let you see what I've been keeping from you."

"I think I saw enough of you and the slut, thanks," I choked out.

"Not her." The finality in his voice did make me look over at him. "This is a lot more than just me cheating, Harley. That shit doesn't mean a damn thing in the scope of it. There are things going on that you can't even begin to comprehend."

"It's pretty easy to say 'let's forget the cheating thing' when you were the one that cheated, Frank." The words came out in a near-hiss.

"Just..." He released my arm, raised his hand as if he were grasping the air beside his head, then breathed out slow and lowered it into his lap, "Hear me out. I'm telling you that I do not want you to go. I want you to see everything for what it is. Come with us to the woods tonight."

"The woods?" I asked, impatiently. "What the hell do you have to show me out there? Why not just get it out here and now and be done with it? I'm tired of the mind games, Frank."

My anger and hurt retreated a little, leaving a heavy wariness. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to hold onto the anger, not surrender it to the mental exhaustion that often followed

Frank's bipolar attitude. The anger would let me walk out of that room. It would give me the validation of leaving behind the one and only family that I had ever felt I belonged to. Without it, the nag of desperation clung heavily to me and rooted me to the spot; it forced me to listen to him and his request.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment then, with a sigh, said, "Because I can't just tell you. I gotta show you. It's the only way you'll understand what we've been tryin' to drive into your head from day one. Just... come see for yourself before you take off. Then you can call your parents or whatever."

I glanced over at the phone a little too quickly. I wanted to know what the hell he'd been holding back; the thing that I demanded he tell me that he always managed to sidestep.

I also didn't want to tell him about Lori. What if I didn't like what he had to show me? So far, as far as he was concerned, I was a phone call away from going back home. Telling him I wasn't wanted back home would make it that much harder to break away from him. Until I knew what he had up his sleeve, I would keep my call with Lori close to my chest.

"Fine," I said. "I'll go with you tonight. But, Frank, if I don't like what you have to show me, I'm gone."

"I ain't gonna lie, Harls. You probably won't like it. At first."

I frowned at him, opened my mouth to ask what he thought I wouldn't like, but he cut me off.

"Just... You'll see. You're the one always tellin' me you can handle things. I'm giving you a chance to prove it."

Well, what could I do? He was right. I did always go on about how I could handle myself. If I backed out now then he'd make me a liar, and that didn't sit well with me. If I didn't like what he showed me, I was free to leave. If he finally laid everything straight for me maybe, just maybe, the strain that had taken up residence on our relationship would ease up. Maybe we could work out, after all. I did love him, but was love enough? I figured, by the end of the night, I'd finally know for sure.