Patchwork heart

'Cause every piece of me, and you together, don't you see we can't go on forever
So, I caught the tie and finally sever into little bits a rainbow raining down

Patches of fabric were the like representations of people I have met. These fabrics were of different sizes, different material and the colors... The colours were simply breathtaking when everything was sewn together. Bright colours for my friends, dull colours for my foes, when combined, it created who I am now.
But the thread that holds it together is how strong their relationship is and that is filled with so many good memories of your times together.
Is it weird that right now that the biggest patch that's locked together is an indigo coloured one, representing someone I have never met in real life?

So, you see the way we used to be is gone, and the words and words would pile on and on and break the frayed end pieces of a time that we tried, it's funny and it's sad I guess

When did I fall in love with you?...I'm not sure. But I remember trying so hard, to make sure I was realized by you. I remember chatting late into a night whenever one of us had a bad day. Words like "its okay" and "stay fine" flooded my screen, and to be honest, they fueled me up better than other compliments I receive.

Tick tock, tick tock, ring us, round us
Ding dong, ding dong, why not play a game?
Tick tock, tick tock, ring me, leave me
Ding dong ding dong, well see ya around
Fraying away, hear it trying to say...

Everything that was happening between us felt so real, it was making me a mess. My friends could sense my excitement when my phone buzzed, notifying me of a possible message that he sent and they could also sense my disappointment when it wasn't him.My conscience was screaming at me, it's voice repeating for me to wake up to reality. My heart conflicted of all these emotions, it hurt. But I knew it was just my imagination, and never will I be together with him.

Couldn't you please oh please be gone out of my life
But everyday continues on the same as if you won't oh won't be gone although I try
Too small to care but still not fair...
Oh please oh please just throw it all away
But here we go alone, trying to keep from thinking
On and on and fall for you again, oh will the pain be here to stay?

Was I ever important to him? I was such a tiny part of his life,yet he wasn't to me. It's so sad that you can't really tell what people were thinking online, you don't know what truly is happening in their life and all the expression in their messages may be fake for all you know.

Before, I felt afraid but now its all the same
A screen and me, why won't it ever change, without a thing
I'm dying from the boring enduring days I thought I'd never knew

Flick tap flick tap, sweep through phone and swipe tap swipe tap

A-R-T(all ready through)

Flick tap, unlock can't talk, swipe swipe swipe swipe,sigh, just end it all

Slipping away,hear it trying to say...

You weren't online lately. Even if you were online, your messages were short, and one word answers. The other chat memebers realized too that you weren't really yourself. It was as if you were tired of us. I wished that you could come back. But sadly...I was glad that you weren't here. My emotions nowadays were crazy, I was so happy and hyperactive one moment, and I would end up hurting another with my words. I'll consider apologizing, but the damage had already be done. Was the power of words really that strong?

Couldn't you please oh please be gone out of my life
But every day continues on the same because you won't oh won't be gone yet still I try
How sad I'll be but fine with me
Oh please oh please just throw it all away
But here we go alone, trying to keep from thinking
On and on and fall for you again, oh will the pain be here to stay?

Everytime I thought of him, my heart hurt. The thought of us not being able to be together hurt. Everything just hurt in general. I covered my head with my arms, rocking myself to and fro, wishing that all of this never happened.
But I still thought about him. Funny how human minds work huh? I've always wondered what he looked like. How tall was he? How was his hair like? Thinking of all of these things were enough to make my heart flutter like crazy. It wouldn't even matter how he looked like.

Ahem ahem, do, do, do -La la la, I'm begging, I'm begging
Please oh please be gone out of my life, but everyday continues on the same
Because you won't oh won't be gone, although I try

How sad I'll be but fine with me

I didn't really realise it at first. Our conversations were all pretty normal. Telling the other what one was doing at that time. Exchanges of funny incidents, sharing of painful situations, we were there for each other through the thick and thin. I could feel myself slowly slipping out of my self control and accepted the fact that I had fallen for this unknown friend.

"What's your name?"
The question seemed to be burning holes through my screen.Despite the simple question, a question everyone would ask when introducing themselves, this relationship had gone on for quite a while and my heart was racing like there was no tomorrow when I read it.
"Your real name." came next. I placed my hand on my head, contemplating to give an answer. Whatever. Anything."Well... If you're comfortable with sharing... It's ok if you're not." The screen showed. He followed by texting an emoji. Just like him.I took in a deep breath and replied with a fake name.
Stupid me.

Oh please oh please why can't I throw away?
You didn't know?
Well if you really didn't know then-
Oh I see there never was a we, the only one I loved was me...

It was another normal conversation, just another hi, how are you, except that you weren't your normal self. How do I put it? You seemed excited, yet hesitant, as if you wanted to tell me something important.

Hey, can I tell you something?

Sure, I am your friend.

Well, I just feel really happy. Guess what? I'm finally dating now!!!

My screen went blank all of a sudden, from me smashing the off button. I was supposed to be happy, but the crushing weight of my sadness weighed terribly on me.

Hey, what happened? You didn't reply.

He never realized, even after all these months of us talking and confiding into each other. What did I do wrong? Was he lying with those comforting words of his?
I turned on my phone and replied to him.

Haha, congrats! Sorry, my mom told me to get something for her.

Well, its not like its the first time I've lied to him.

Tick tock tick tock
Ding dong ding dong
Cause every little piece, I weave of me and you together, can't you see we can't go on forever so, I caught the tie, but can I sever easily the end?
And will I ever smile again?