A Life Full of Lies

Changes & Regrets

Chapter Five

"Are you okay?" Concern rung in her tone.
"I-I love you." Jake whispered in her ear.

"W-what?" Alissa stuttered at her words. No one has ever said those words towards her, let alone meant it.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, part curious and part nervous. "What were you saying 'what?' to?"

She took a huge gulp, highly confused.

"Did you say anything to me in the last three minutes?"

"Not a single word. Wait, are you nervous that I wrapped my arms around you?" He queried, removing his arms from her waist.

"No no!" She objected, grabbing his arms back onto her. "I just thought you said something, that's all." She sighed, clearly relieved but hiding the part of her that's highly disappointed. Jake rested his chin on her head and they only stood there, admiring the presence of one another.

"Date?" Jake randomly questioned.

"November sixteenth," she laughed.

"No," he said, turning her around to his direction. "I want, to take you-" He began, growing closer to her. Alissa stiffened by his actions. She loved it, but she was also scared. He was so strong, plus a lot taller, he has complete power over her. He could have his way with her whenever, wherever, but she knew he would never. "-on a date," he concluded.

Alissa was stunned by his words. "Can I ask you a question?" She said.
"You just did." He said in monotone, disappointed that she didn't actually respond.
"Can I ask you another question?"
"You just did." He stated in monotone again.
"Why me? Of all people, you want to go out with me?" She queried, ignoring his cocky tone. Then, removed herself from under him and walked to sit down. He walked towards her slowly without saying a word, her nervousness intensifying.

"You're everything to me.." he admitted, and cupped her cheeks, instantly kissing her. She kissed back, not hesitant, although still very speechless. He broke away from the kiss and promised her one thing. "I will never hurt you. Not for views, for attention, not for anything in this world. So, Alissa Violet," he smiled perkily as he got down on one knee. "Will you.." he pulled out a black box. Alissa gasped at the sight. He couldn't be serious, not at their age!

"J-jake," she tried protesting, but he only stopped her.
"I get it, it's so early.... But it must be done. Will you marry me, for real?"

She looked at him silently, not knowing how to start off. He caught her off guard completely. Everything, her life, just turned upside down entirely. I don't want to break his heart, she thought. But maybe that had to be done.

"I'm joking!" He laughed, and Alissa sighed in complete relief. "But really, go out with me? Please..." he pleaded genuinely.

"Okay!" She gave in happily, and got up to share a hug. "But why did you buy a ring?" Confused, she questioned and broke the hug. He chuckled and told her it was because he felt that I deserved it after all that has happened. "Thank you.." Alissa smiled softly and truthfully.

All while this happened, she was pondering over the situation with Banks... did I overreact? That's what everyone told her. It's not easy loving someone and then forcing yourself to remove them from your life.

I have a plan, she thought. I think I know what I need to do. Well- not what I need to do, rather, what I want to do. I might just regret this idea for the rest of my life. I'm going back to Banks, but I don't know how, or when.

"You can miss places.
You can miss people.
Just know that what you're really missing is the way things were.
And even if you could go there
Again.... See them again....
You can't go back.

They're not the same.
You're not the same.

The loss of them changed you."

- Ranata Suzuki

Alissa replayed that quote over in her head, but she furiously shook her head as she looked down.

"I can go back, I will go back.. And everything will be alright."

If only she knew.

"Jake!" She called out, grabbing her purse and stuffing her phone into her bag. "I'm going somewhere!"

"Okay! Stay safe, please!" He responded in the other room.

"You're not going to ask me where I'm going?" She chuckled. Any other guy would, she knew.

"It's not my business. You're not my girlfriend.... yet!" He laughed.

"Thank you!" She yelled and exited, shutting the door behind her and left it unlocked. She raced down the hallway and into the elevator, appreciating the ding she heard as she reached the final floor and walked out.

"Good afternoon," she greeted towards the male sitting at the desk. He waved his hand lazily and Alissa only brushed it off. She had other things on her mind at the moment.

I really hope Jake doesn't monitor my timing. It's a thirty minute drive there and back, plus having to speak to Banks! But no, Alissa, no, Jake only cares about if you're okay and not what you're doing.

She nodded her head reassuringly and sighed. "This can end in two ways," she murmured to herself. "guess I'll have to figure out how it will for myself."

She casually walked through the rotating doors, facing the real world once more.

"There's no turning back."