The begining

‘Another sleepless night, who would of guessed’ I said as I raised my over tired body up to look out the window. A light fog drifted over the road, taking some time I stared out the window. Finally deciding it was time to get up, there was no point staying in bed any longer.

 Heading for the shower I took one long hard look into the mirror. I could not tell what was worse to look at, the bags under my eyes, the freckles over lapping each other underneath the bags or just the features that made up my face. At least I could be somewhat proud of my longish blonde hair.  ‘Why do I do this to my self’ I asked myself subconsciously, like I was really going to get an answer. Turing around to the shower I turned the knobs and waited for the shower to get warm than took off my clothes.

 Now I am not a big guy. An average height I guess, but other than that, skinny and barely any muscles. Jumping in the shower I just kept thinking to myself like I normally do.

As quickly as I could, I dried myself off and got ready for another day. “What am I going to do with my life” Flooded my mind as I walked aimlessly around the street of the place I have spent the last 7 years of my life, just recently  18 and nothing to do, no ambitions for life.

Now arriving back home, No one there except me and my thoughts. I searched my room for any kind of answer to my questions that I have been asking myself for years now. Rummaging through old memories, stuff that my ex left behind scattered throughout my draws and tops of my bedside tables. Seeing it all every day pushed me closer and closer to the edge. I gave up looking, as I lost hope of looking for whatever it was I was searching for. Slowly my feet carried my numb body towards the computer.

‘I guess it is Facebook time’ I said aloud as I opened my web browser and searched for some music to listen to. There she was, my ex. The first post that I see ‘He makes me so happy’ is all it said.

This was it, with a few hard hits of my keyboard I messaged her

 ‘Meet me down town, we need to talk’ I stated

‘Fine then, be there in 10’

I left with a sudden urgency. Taking a seat in our old meeting place, I waited and there she was but it was different this time. What made it different is this time, there was another person. Then I noticed them holding hands.

‘This must be him’ thinking loudly to myself, I could barely even hear her talk to me.

‘What did you say’ I asked sharply.

‘I am here, now what do you want’ She said impatiently.

‘I just wanted to say goodbye, leave on completely different terms then what originally happened’

‘Why are you telling me this, do you really think I care?’

‘Honestly, it does not bother me the slightest if you care or not, this is for me, so I can finally let go’

‘And where exactly to you expect to go’

‘Anywhere but here’ I turned away for her and started walking away.

‘Goodbye Jen’ I said with agitation in my voice.

Getting home, I started to pack my bags. Grabbing and throwing whatever I thought looked important, clothes, laptop, IPod and finally my guitar strapped over my back. I walked out of my door ready to finally let go of everything in this town. Each and every step seemed easier and easier then the last, thoughts disapating as I move further away from the place I know and want to forget.