white magic | camren au

the beginning (everlasting love)

It feels weird. Like she's floating or something. Like she's– like she's still on that cloud. But she knows she's not. No, in fact she's back at the apartment. Their apartment. Standing in front of Lauren's– their bed.

And it– it's so different from all the other times. The past few times, anyway. It's different because she's really here now. Not as a ghost, but– as a– a whitelighter.

She's not completely sure what it means yet, but for now– she can feel and she's here, where Lauren is, too, and she's happy.

Still, it's all so incredibly weird. One second she's here in spirit form, the next second she's above the clouds, with the Founders of the Earth or whatever, who tell her she and Lauren have managed something that is literally impossible, and now she's here for real, and she's something she didn't know existed.

(Does she even really exist? In the actual sense of the word? What the–)

She remembers everything. Everything. Which is– wasn't she dead? How does she– God, she's going to get a major headache from trying to figure this out. (Can whitelighters get headaches?)

She remembers her time with Lauren. Her own death, too, strangely enough. Even her time as a ghost. Just wandering around the apartment, not knowing that she belonged there. Not knowing that it was her shirt that kept Lauren sane in the nights in which the pain almost became unbearable.

Camila turns around and walks into the living room.

Standing in front of the window and letting the world do its thing, she lets her mind wander to everything that's happened just now.

It's only been a few hours since she got her powers. She had to lie down for quite a while after she received not only the power to orb anytime, orb anywhere, orb anyone she wanted to, and the power to heal her loved ones, but also her memories. It all came back so suddenly that Camila felt like a wave was crashing down on her, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. It just came closer and closer until finally, Camila was washed away. Into the land of dreams. Nightmares. Nothingness. Yes, it was all so sudden that it knocked her out.

She remembers that she came to on the couch right behind her, and even though her feelings are different and new – a side effect of being a whitelighter, she supposes, feeling emotions differently – they're also old and familiar. It's the same kind of familiarity she felt when she first came into Lauren's apartment as a ghost, not knowing how she belonged there, just knowing that she belonged there. Kind of, anyway.

Yes, she remembers having felt these emotions a long time ago.

It's good to be back now, she decides.

*

Camila realizes that she missed being able to not only see everything but also touch it. Smell it. And, God, she can smell Lauren everywhere. It's like everything's being put back into place. The feelings. Everything. For good.

Blood's rushing through her veins. She feels her pulse get faster. Her heart starts racing. Or maybe she's just imagining it. Because, yeah, technically she's dead. You know, another minor side effect of being a whitelighter.

It's ironic, really – how alive she's feeling.

And that's just from thinking about Lauren.

She doesn't know how exactly any of this is possible – feeling alive without being alive – but she'll take it. As long as it means she can be with Lauren – she'll take it. No matter what.

It's still real. Their love is real, it's great, it's epic, even. It's her destiny. Sharing this one-of-a-kind-love with Lauren.

She can't wait to see Lauren now. She knows the girl's going to freak out, but they'll deal with it. They're destined to be together, after all.

Nothing can tear them apart. Not the Elders, not fate, nothing.

Together, they're greater than life itself, greater than death, even, and that's enough for Camila; to know that, however Lauren reacts at first, they're going to be able to pull through it, together, and they'll live their life to the fullest.

Together.

It takes a second for Camila to notice that Sandra (yes, she finally got to know her name) has orbed in behind her.

"Camila," she greets simply.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" Camila whispers.

"I have a few last words for you. I needed to get them out."

"I'm listening."

Sandra steps closer and puts her hand on Camila's cheek. "You've been granted a second chance, dear." Her fingers stroke the young girl's face softly. "Not everyone gets that. In fact, few people get it. You're very lucky, you know?" Her smile is sad when she finishes, "Don't waste it."

*

Camila hears Lauren unlock the door from outside.

This is it. She orbs out quickly enough for Lauren not to notice the little white and blue lights that her orbing leaves behind.

She waits until Lauren is distracted putting the– putting all the alcohol away to orb back into the room.

"Hello, Lauren."

The girl jumps slightly. Bottles clink. Then she turns around. Her eyes grow wide. She– "Camz?" She doesn't sound too sober, but, like, Camila can look past that. As in, she really doesn't care right now.

"In the flesh." Well– that's not entirely true. Camila looks down at the floor, slightly embarrassed. "So to speak," she quietly adds. Then chuckles. God, she's so happy to finally be this close to Lauren again.

(The girl reeks of vodka but, again, Camila doesn't care.)

She knows she'll be able to touch Lauren this time, too. She can't believe she forgot how much she craved the girl's presence.

"But how–" Lauren steps closer, probably trying to make herself believe that this is real. That Camila is really there.

The truth is, if the roles were reversed – if it were Lauren suddenly orbing back into Camila's life – Camila wouldn't be sure if she would trust her senses, either.

"I don't understand," Lauren whispers. Her eyes are filled with tears. "You were gone, Camila. You died. How is it possible for you to be here right now?" Lauren shakes her head slightly.

"Do you believe in magic?" This time, it's Camila who takes a step closer. She touches Lauren's cheek, and the girl leans into her instantly. "Well," Camila breathes, "even if you haven't until now – I think it's time that you do." She smiles at her– her wife. God, this girl in front of her is her wife. When– how did she get this lucky?

No wonder even the Elders couldn't keep them apart. What she's feeling is– it's– so strong. Camila– she loves how Lauren makes her feel so– so– ugh, she just makes her feel. In the few days, weeks, months as a ghost, she'd forgotten what it was like to feel.

"What are you?" Lauren wants to know. Her eyes are closed, and she's still leaning into Camila's touch.

"A whitelighter. I– I can orb. I can heal. I can– I can–" Camila swallows, "I remember." Tears are running down her face when she says the words, "I can feel."

"But you were– dead," Lauren sobs.

"Sometimes–" Camila's voice breaks. It takes a second for her to recompose. "Sometimes, it doesn't end there," she explains quietly. "Everything happens for a reason, Lauren. You were supposed to feel the loss, to learn from it. So was I. It was our destiny. But our love– was stronger than that. Can you imagine?" Camila laughs weakly through her tears. "Our love– our love was stronger than everything the world has ever known. Isstronger."

"So– it's not over?"

"No, this is only the beginning. Believe me."

"I do."