Nothing kills a man faster than his own head

1

Each roar of the alarm clock drummed my brain against my skull, crashing me back harshly into the darkness splashed (more like submerged) prison of m reality. It screamed at me relentlessly, blinking in constant flashes of rage until I gave up and in an irritable mess slammed my clenched fist on to it aggressively; not ready to enter the nightmare of this world. In the usual unenthusiastic struggle to drag myself out from under the duvets, I first of all swung one tree trunk leg over the edge and let it thump on the floor reluctantly followed by the other. A deep sigh escaped my mouth and vibrated through the grogginess of my morning mind as two hands rubbed at my zombie resembling face, all I wished was that they could hide my emotions forever, endlessly masking my true feelings.

while I prepared myself for the terrible bout of torture that was school in an extremely depressing manner i desperately attempted to block out the whispers from inside i could hear scratching at my ears. It was no good. Nothing I could ever do would allow me to have peace, to escape my own head. "Nothing kills a man faster" going by the poetic words of Tyler Joseph himself. skulking past my sickeningly bright, bubbly and perfect family (consisting of my mum, dad and little brother Cody who's 5 years old) I instantly dismissed even the idea of breakfast from both of our thoughts- simply staring at the tiled floor and leaving "home".

As i sat hunched in my usual position over my schoolbag in an isolated corner of the bus, everyone else leaped around in frantic and painfully energetic motions and all i could think was how can they bear to be like that? How do they even summon enough motivation to easily hurl playful insults at each other? It will infinitely be a mystery to me. With close to trembling hands I turned each page of my school books,  shaking my head at my crappy marks. Furious red lines attacked the page, leaving them with vicious wounds that i could feel in my own soul and each shade of red sang out my failure frequently displaying remarks such as "see me" and "what a disappointment!!!!!". I didn't care: i really didn't an yet at the same time there was something about it that wouldn't give me rest. Everything had gone downhill and i quickly realised that i had lost control.