*

Thoughts

I've been here so long. Trapped in a box I cant escape,
Why am I here?
Do I need to leave?
Can I be back in your arms?
Pain is what I felt when you left
The only person who understood that listened that didint shame me for my pain or for the tears that streamed down my face and the hurting words I yelled at you just for anger.

I loved you with all my heart
The person who never gave up on me
Who never left
Who never

Left.

Why couldn't you stay? Right by me! All the pain I had inside me will never go away do to the pain that YOU JUST caused me.. but I can't Blaim you for leaving for saying that I'm worthless or a burden but saying this to your own blood hurts like hell and from the ONE person who just listened and comforted me from this bad world from the demons that threatened to come out and eat me in and out from all the Fucking shitty people who plastered smiles on there faces to me and said "im right here" But when I needed my "Friends" they turned and pretended not seeing me hurting so I plaster this mask that built with lies and pain, talking about crushes and clothes and singing our asses off and laghing but is it all real or a illusion I created so I cant forget all the shit I've gone through?

Walls I've built to keep my pain just for me and those lonely cold nights I spent crying myself to sleep, because I can't trust anyone with my secrets that I hold dear to my heart
Pills in one hand and a phone in another, sending emojies through text but dying on the inside
These pills that pretended to save me but i was falling deeper in this so called "dream"
That supposedly "saved me"

Someone save me from drowning
From drowning in my pain
From sleeping and not leaving my bed
Please....

Help me.