Drop Dead Gorgeous

Chapter Seven

"A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect. Every action in this world will bear a consequence." -Face Down, Jumpsuit Apparatus

Chapter Seven

There is one thing I've always hated about cemeteries: they're not private.

I mean, sure, eerily enough there is barely ever anyone actually alive in a cemetery whenever you go – but that doesn't mean there's any privacy. There are graves everywhere. Camila had less than a foot on either side before there was someone next to her.

Besides the dead, the cemetery was empty when I pulled up. Fresh flowers sat on lime-green grass next to granite headstones, but not a soul was in sight. In the distance I could see a worker walking across the grounds, and a few ravens swirled in the sky, but other than that it was completely deserted.

I stepped out of my car and closed the door behind me, clutching tightly to the bouquet of lilies in my hand. I walked across the grass towards the place where I knew her grave would be. It was still fresh, packed hard with dirt. There was no headstone yet, and a bouquet of yellow roses sat atop the earth.

I sat down in front of the grave and crossed my legs. I slowly laid out the flowers. "Hey, Cam, it's me," I said, uncomfortable. "You know, I went to the cemetery's flower store to buy some flowers, and I realized that I didn't even know your favorites. I didn't know a lot about you. I didn't know your favorite song or movie genre. I didn't know quotes that stuck out for you. I didn't know the things that meant a lot to you. I should. But I don't."

I blew out a breath and shivered in the chilly air. The ghost of Camila that had followed me around the last few days was gone, and I realized then how alone I suddenly was. There wasn't anyone around. It was just me and her. And a whole lot of dead people.

"I should've saved you," I told her. "If I had gotten there in time... if I had stopped it all, you'd still be here. We could still be doing our usual thing. You'd kick my ass for addiction and I'd roll my eyes at your antics. We'd be the power friends we were. Without you, I'm nothing. I don't know who I am. I was so used to being 'Cam and Perrie' that I don't know who Perrie is without Cam. I don't wanna know."

I wiped away a tear. "I wish I had some heartfelt speech to say to you, but I don't. I just want you to know I'm sorry. But I'm going to do everything I can to find the real killer. I'm going to do everything I can just to avenge your death. I'm gonna make you proud."

I looked up at the sky, searching for some sign she was there looking over me. A flash of lightning, a rumble of thunder, a caw of a bird... Something to tell me she could see me and forgave me.

All I received in return though was a blank gray expanse dotted with stormy clouds and little else.

"If you can hear me, do something," I whispered. "Anything. I always thought you were capable of moving mountains.... So do something for me now. Anything. Just prove that you're here."

Nothing.

"Please!" I yelled. "Don't leave me here alone! Please."

I dissolved into a trembling mess of sobs, and it was hard to believe the level of pathetic I had lowered myself to.

Two arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a thin and muscular body, and I looked up to see Jeremy holding me close. He didn't say a word—he didn't offer some kind of comfort, he didn't kiss me or whisper his condolences or tell me everything was going to be okay. He sat there in the wet and muddy grass next to me, holding me so close to his body I could feel his heartbeat reverberating through my bones as if it were my own.