Hello, my name is Jax. When I was a little, I was as happy as a kid could be. I have a loving family, great friends, a great school career, and a wonderful life overall. I am very blessed to have such a loving and caring family. They have given me a great life and I am very thankful for them and all they give me in life. My life has been great. Although, somewhere along the line I stopped seeing the world in such a great way. I mean I try to, but the world keeps pushing me down to where I can't seem to see the world with much light. It just seemed to be fading away.
When I was little, my family showed me this easier way to be happy. They showed me the way of gaining happiness by taking it from others. It felt so good to just be happy. It felt so good to be able to look in the mirror and think that I was worth more than I was before. It corrupted me. I wanted to keep doing it, so I did. I ended up hurting people I cared about. It wasn't that bad at first. Then, I realized what I had lost. I lost my friends. They weren't just some friends though. They were my best friends. I told them everything. I lost them and soon realized I wasn't telling anyone anything. It just seemed to be fading away.
When I got to middle school, I had then started feeling the emptiness inside. Dating someone always seemed like it was supposed to help, but that's all it ever was for middle school kids. I needed more than someone I was just dating. I was ready for compassion. I wanted to have compassion. I needed something more than just some little kid dating. I tried to find that thing that was more, but it didn't exist in middle school for some reason I guess I was just stuck being alone. It just seemed to be fading away.
When I got into high school, I was finally finding the people that cared and tried to be there. I finally found what made me happy. The only problem was that they had not yet found what made them happy because they still hadn't even found themselves. It was lonely being the one that knew what they wanted in life. I couldn't talk to others about it because they didn't really understand what I felt like. Everyone I talked to kept getting further from me. The emptiness grew deeper. It just seemed to be fading away.
Well, now I'm here. I'm almost done being a kid for good. I don't have my best friends I grew up with anymore. I have new best friends. They aren't perfect, but nobody is. I love that they're here for me all the time. I finally have people to relate to and understand what I mean when I talk to them. I fit in with them. I like them. I want to be around them more. I love where I am now. Maybe now the fading will go away.
