Thinking About Random Stuff

Emotional Mess

A/N: I seem to have entered the 'writing love serenades(???)' phase of my life. Excuse me as I aggressively play my piano and cry in a corner. Or something. I'm struggling with this writing thing already. I'm just so confused. 

Been almost a year since we've met,

I've been counting the months since I left.

Phone shut down and ignored all your attempts.

So damn easy to just turn away,

World's so wide, I'll never stay

In a place long enough to catch your eye.

Ducking behind cabinet shelves,

Playing hide-and-seek, cat and mouse,

Just as long as I stay away from you.

I don't know regret, don't know fear,

Life's a grey shadow and I've lost all my tears,

Can't say that I'm sorry for you.

You claim that you liked me, that you liked what I said,

That you're so scared when I got up and went,

I don't know how to respond to that.

Like a ghost haunting an old town,

I've picked up the chat and checked it out,

Seeing your confessions from seven months ago.

It's funny how even now I'm still confused,

Can't bring myself to fit in your shoes,

Can't pity a kid who's just like me, 

Same ideas, same thoughts, same family.

Toxic talk on phone screens, 

Sharing things that shouldn't have been,

I should've known better than to allow us to drag each other down.

Thought I could try to help your fight,

Thought I was noble,

Thought I was kind.

Everyone believed that I could've saved you.

You aren't gone yet, that I know.

Can't help but wonder where you'll go,

Now that I've cut off all the sadness that we've caused.

Children in a lonely world,

Trapped by 'society', without a cause,

Dying and we're crying... no one but you understands.

It was so damn obvious and I was so stupid to let this thing begin.

Cutting you out now, no regrets.

Might meet you on the street but it's worth the risk.

If there's gonna be two dead bodies

At the very least

We won't die together,

And I'll say it's not you, it's me.