Oneshots - |Changki/Kikyun|

Warm Hands In The Dark

There were three times Changkyun woke Kihyun up in the middle of the night.

The first time, they had still been at the beginning of their career; even before they had debuted. It was a few weeks after their show No Mercy had ended, and while the relationship between the members had definitely improved compared to how they had reacted to Changkyun entering the broadcasts at a later time than anyone else at first, Kihyun couldn't help but feel a certain weight on his chest that seemed to suffocate him whenever he looked at the younger.

If Changkyun was still angry with them, he didn't let it show. Looking back, Kihyun knew he had actually never been particularly outraged about their reaction. Changkyun was one of the most understanding people Kihyun had ever met, and he had always understood it hadn't been easy for them to accept him at first. He beared no hate whatsoever towards any of them, but still, Kihyun felt guilty under his glance whenever he caught Changkyun looking at him.

Because Changkyun always seemed to be looking at him, somehow. Kihyun couldn't make any sense out of it, but it made him nervous and strangely comfortable at the same time. There was some chemistry between them that Kihyun noticed whenever they actually talked to each other, which didn't happen often at the beginning. However, Kihyun was determined to make up for the bad start of their friendship - he just didn't know how.

Actually, it ended up being Changkyun who got the two of them closer for the first time; even if neither of them would have expected it to happen like it did.

To Kihyun, Changkyun had always seemed like the type of person who was loving and kind towards others and their emotions, but more reluctant in showing his own, especially if he worried to burden someone. Kihyun had never noticed that anything was wrong with him, at least not until he woke up to Changkyun sitting on his mattress next to him, softly whispering his name.

There was some desperation in his voice that Kihyun had never heard from him before, and it made an unknown feeling arise in his chest as his still half-asleep brain progressed his words.

"Hyung, can I borrow your phone?"

He spent a few seconds just staring at Changkyun, who was almost invisible in the darkness of the room. The sound of soft breathing was the only noise audible; Kihyun wasn't too sure if it was Changkyun, Minhyuk or Jooheon he heard.

Then, he slowly shook his head, even though Changkyun wouldn't be able to see it. "I don't have a phone either", he tried to explain. He was almost entirely sure Changkyun had known beforehand; it was a rule of their company to give up their phones for a certain amount of time, and especially before the debut.

Still, he could hear Changkyun swallow in the silence, and something inside his chest began to hurt.

"Hey, is everything okay?", he asked with gentleness in his voice. He and Changkyun had never talked about anything more private than what directly concerned the band as a whole, and especially not while everyone else was sleeping. Yet at this very moment, Kihyun felt himself shifting to press his hand flat against the mattress, because he somehow felt like reaching out for Changkyun in the dark would be the right thing to do. He didn't.

There wasn't any noise for a while, and Kihyun was about to ask himself if he had just dreamt the other's words, when Changkyun whispered: "I miss my family."

It was a blunt statement, and although Kihyun had guessed Changkyun felt similiar, it still caught him unprepared. Everyone was missing their parents and siblings, and he should've known that for Changkyun as the youngest it had to be even worse. Yet, here he was, blinking rapidly in the darkness and trying to make sense out of his own thoughts.

He couldn't; there was just too much on his mind, and only when he heard Changkyun shifting to stand up, he noticed how much time had actually passed without him saying anything. Maybe Changkyun thought he was already asleep again, because his next words were just a quiet whisper: "Good night, hyung."