Confusion

Masterbation

  When I was 13 I came for the first time watching porn , Eventually I became obsessed with porn I watched it everyday 3 times a day. I watched all kinds milf, teen, step father and daughter , babysitter you name it . I was very discreet with it but over time it started to get boring.  I wanted something different.
  As I was searching for porn I accidentally clicked on the wrong category and it brought me to gay porn. Now I've never been questioning of my sexuality but when I clicked on that tab I got an instant boner,  I never thought gay sex was so hot. I clicked on a video it was two "twinks" them kissing  turned me on so much I new I couldn't full on master-bate without coming , so I started to play with my balls rubbing them with my hand one by one. Then I saw them suck each other off and I stared slowly stroking up and down my shaft as a pool of  precum started dripping out of my foreskin as I continue.
  I never touched my anus but as soon as I saw them fingering and eating one other I had to try it . I laid down and lifted my legs as I started to rub the outside of my anus with lube on one finger and then inserted it in to my tight hole  i moaned loudly . The pleasure and pain felt so good . Made me want to lose my virginity to a boy instead of a girl. I couldn't take it anymore I started stroking my cock fast as I watched the guys dick go in his ass in and out. I imagine it's me fucking him as I'm stroking faster and faster. I groan and moan louder then I've ever moaned I never felt this kind of pleasure. Then everything felt so peaceful as I felt the cum start coming out my rod. It feels almost as slow motion as I cum all over my stomach.  I get up and rub my stomach with my finger and suck the cum it's so sweet.
  My eyes are closed while  I'm enjoying the taste of my own kids, and then he walks in ... to be continued