ιnѕecυre

Inside

I hope nobody hears,
I hope nobody sees.
I wanna hide what's inside me,
But i also just wanna scream

I wanna yell,
That i need help,
That my life has been hell.
But the voice inside my head
Says "Who the hell would now care?"

They say "You've had an easy life.
Why are you even complaining?
You dont have to pay the price
To keep what you have remaining"

They're right, I should be more grateful
But instead i feel hateful
Towards myself
Because i know i can't change my true self

I'm told a lot I only think 'bout myself
But though i really try to change
Their thoughts of me remain unchanged
My efforts becoming forgotten objects on a shelf

Im not smart enough, not kind enough
That's all they ever say, all I ever hear
But they only know a mere,
A mere fraction of my real thoughts.

I hope nobody hears,
I hope nobody sees
I wanna hide what's inside me,
But i also just wanna scream.

I wanna yell
That I need help,
That my mind has been hell.
But the voice inside my head
Says "Why would they even care?"

The only thing that gets me through the day
Is the thought of how life might change.
Since I still have a long path to walk,
I fight everyday for what life has in stock.

My Biggest Fear is not being able to achieve
What I've always dreamed and believed.
Changing the world I live in, that's it!
Even if it's only a little bit.

Im not talking about success, money
and fame,
But about what my name
Will cause as a reaction on others' brains.

For the people who know me,
And that will know me as well,
Will I be a good memory
Or just another drop in a well?

I hope somebody hears.
I hope somebody sees.
I want someone to notice
That to my life i lost motive

And that i can't be fixed.

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