The Day God Wept

The Atonement

The cliff just outside of Jerusalem's walls was sheer and impassive. Edric stood on its edge, looking over the surrounding land. He heard the whistling of the wind in his ears, felt its touch on his skin. It was cool out in the night, but the smell of blood and burning flesh still clogged his nose, and the wind did little to relieve the haunting screams he still heard ringing in his ears.

"Why would a just and loving God delight in the slaughter of all those people," he muttered grimly once again. "That's just it—He doesn't. We wished to believe He would. We were deceived by the greatest lies of all—heresy and misinterpretation. The Pope twisted the Scriptures, and our sense of religious duty, and turned us into his puppets of vengeance. God was not glorified in any of this. Christianity achieved nothing today. I have committed the worst of atrocities in the name of God, when it was not in His name that I committed them at all—it was in the name of ignorance and hate. Because of my foolishness, hundreds of thousands now lie dead in the streets of the Holy City."

He lapsed into silence, staring down at the ground far below him. His emotions were quiet now, and only one remained—hopelessness. Utter and complete lack of any faith. The weight of what he knew pressed on Edric like a crushing force. The thought of living with it for the rest of his life. . .

Well, confessing his dire faults wasn't his only reason for climbing the cliff.

"I am not worthy to live on this world, knowing what I have done," he said miserably. Then he fell to his knees, throwing his helmet from his head, and raising his hands to the sky, wailing, "What is man, that you should take thought of him, oh Lord?! You know his intentions and his heart! You know mine, God. You know how terribly sorry and wrong I am and have been. But I still can't live with myself, even knowing that! I pray now that You would forgive me this one last sin, and that Your ever-knowing nature would understand that I do not do this out of spite, but out of hope. Hope to be rid of the chains of grief and disgust I would otherwise live with for all my days! I pray unto You, Lord, and request Your forgiveness. Amen."

Standing on legs now shaky, Edric walked over to the very edge of the cliff. He closed his eyes, feeling the weight still as if a physical presence, dragging him down toward the ground below. Sighing, as a tear traced down his dirty cheek, the Paladin slowly leaned himself forward. He felt himself reach his balance maximum, and then pushed further, throwing himself over his ability to recover.

As he tumbled from the top of the cliff, Edric felt the weight lessen on his shoulders. Then it left entirely. His eyes snapped open, despite the wind screeching past them. And he smiled. Smiled in pure bliss. He watched the ground approach without regret now. As he stared into the face of death, he felt no fear, and no regret. Only hope for a brighter life than the one he had led.

As he fell, one phrase escaped from his lips, torn away in silence by the wind that rushed past him as he approached the bottom.

"Deus vult."

The crash of his body smashing into the ground dozens of feet below the top of the cliff went unheard by any of the Crusaders in Jerusalem. They were all still rampaging through the city, eager to take what they could before morning came, and before the leaders would assemble all of the remaining army to begin cleaning the Holy City of gore from the brutal massacre. And over it all, the soaring cross standing atop the highest dome of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre stood framed against the dark sky and flickering torches from below, bearing testament to the attack that would catapult the world into only more violence and bloodshed. The wind whistling through almost seemed to sigh in the ears of every man in the city. Many shook it off as simply a trick of the night.

However, the few monks moving through the streets all raised their heads, closing their eyes in sorrow.

"The Lord weeps in heaven tonight, my brothers," one of them said simply.

That's all, folks! This was just a story I created on a random inspiration a little while back, and decided to finally share. If you liked it, remember to vote it up. Obviously no bias or position of any of the characters in this novella reflect my personal opinions. There's just a lot of historical context in here that doesn't apply today. I'm just a sucker for anything medieval and historical :P Thanks for reading, and see you later!