Part One
“You’re most likely the only person in the history of Hogwarts to have an orgasm in the Great Hall.”
chapter one
Mount Everest
Sirius Black knew his method of communication tended to get him into trouble. He liked to start arguments and almost always won. But not everyone was happy about that.
His group of friends, called the Marauders, had differing views on how to deal with him. Peter Pettigrew was quite hilarious. Whenever Sirius said anything to him, even as simple as asking the day, he’d regard him as if he were trying to trick him. Remus Lupin tried to reason with him, but almost always left feeling quite irritated. Finally his best friend, James Potter, who knew him better than anyone, had begun getting cross with him once he started arguing.
If his friends weren’t willing to do with him, he probably couldn’t blame the others, especially the girls. At one point he’d been quite popular but now, he merely seemed to annoy anyone he talked to.
He sighed, climbing out of bed. He already knew he was going to be late for breakfast. The rest of the Marauders were already downstairs eating. He dressed quickly before running down to join them.
He was greeted with, “Good morning, sleepyhead,” from James. He nodded in reply. Just because he was up didn’t mean he was awake. He ate silently, listening to the others talk about their plans for the day. He barely paid attention to any of them until Remus called him out of his reverie.
“You need to stop sleeping in so much, Padfoot.” Padfoot being his nickname in the group. Remus’s was Moony, Peter’s Wormtail, and James’s Prongs. Remus gave him the same lecture nearly every day.
“You’re always too tired to do anything in class correctly. You waste time so that you end up having to run to all of your classes. And you’re always so irritable.”
“That has nothing to do with getting a little extra sleep in the mornings,” Sirius replied, grabbing a pasty.
“Of course it does. You’re messing up your sleep patterns, not sleeping enough at night, and so you’re more tired in the morning and more short tempered than usual.”
“I’m not being short tempered. This is just me.”
Remus sighed and returned to eating his food. Once they’d finished, as they started toward their Potions class, Sirius realized he’d forgotten his books.
“Just a moment, I’ll meet you there.” He ran back to the dorm but by the time he got to the dungeons the class had already started and everyone had been split into pairs.
“Seems like you’re working by yourself today, Sirius,” Professor Slughorn said disapprovingly as he walked in late.
Not long after he began working the doors flew open again. A girl wearing Gryffindor robes strode into the classroom to Professor Slughorn’s desk. The sight of her distracted him from his potion.
“I’m Alize. Alize Warren.”
“Of course. I’ve been expecting you.”
“Sorry Professor,” she said. “I’m not used to the castle yet.”
“That’s alright. You can work with Mr. Black over there. Just try to be on time tomorrow.”
“Will do,” she said and moved to sit beside Sirius. But before he even had a chance to say anything, she was speaking. “You are so going to fail this assignment.”
“What?” He hadn’t even gotten to properly introduce himself.
She nodded to the cauldron. “You’re brewing the potion wrong.”
