My English teacher.

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We shall call my English teacher Miss TH and the students L and J. 

Me (sat doing work on Charles Dickens for GCSE) 

Miss TH: J, I'd get your hands from under the table love, you don't want to be known as the boy who plays with himself under the table. 

L (turns around to stare at J)

Miss TH: and L dear, I don't want you to be known as the girl who watches the boy who plays with himself under the table. 

Me to MiMi: holy shit our English teacher rocks.

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