she my ex

How we came about!

September 2015

I was scrolling through my facebook when suddenly i saw her, shes beautiful thats all i thought, so i sent a freind request. She accepted it and we started talking. I thought i was straight and that id never like a girl. We talked for eight months. Then i asked will you go out with me? I got a yes we dated for three days then i freaked that she wouldnt like me so i broke it off. Why? I dont know. Then june came around and we were still talking so i asked again. YES she said. I was happy. We started talking about tons of things, then my friend blocked her off my account. Three hours, two bottles a whiskey, and so stupid stunts later. I get a text saying hey are you beth? Yes i say why? Who is this? Well he says this is mels best friend matt, when you blocked her she freaked cut her wrist and we are waiting on a ambulance, you need to talk to her. I started freaking out trying to figure how do i unblock her. I figured it out about a half an hour later. At two in the morning she got out of the hospital. I called her for the first time ever crying my eyes out. We talked for about two hours then i went to bed mad at myself and drunk. How can i ever get over what i did? How do i deal with what happened? I keep asking myself that to this day. We started talking on the phone every night, then it became we never hung up unless it was to charge the phone for five minutes. Then in july we started video chatting she was twenty-eight hours away but it felt like she was with me at all times. Around my birthday in August she saw what my dad did to me i never told her or anyone before that. I was scared knowing that she knew but she helped me more than anything. She was my person, i fell inlove with her. We got engaged, we were happy, then my family got between us. We didnt talk after September for three months, i snuck a phone so i could talk to her. I was having surgery in January so she came to see me. I ran away and she helped me be safe. She took me back to my house becuase my family threatened her. While we were gone she told me im sorry baby but i cheated im with someone else. I broke down on the inside but never showed it. She left town after taking me home, i didnt talk to her again until april. I was sad, hurt, and scared. I never told her. How do you show emotions? Then in may we split she went with someone else, cut me out of her life, for three months. I was still waiting for her. In September of 2017 she came back into my life, i was there waiting arms wide open. They split up she was devastated i understood. Finally told her i still cared, but she wanted someone else again. Im still here waiting arms wide open but she dosnt see it. I want her back, yes its a tad bit selfish but i love her. I would do anything for her to be back in my arms, shes not coming back.