It's Hard To Say "I Do", When I Don't

Chapter 20

I saw a smiling Ashlee from the now opened door. "Hey Pete!" She beamed at him opening the door so we could fully look at her. I watched as her eyes fell upon me. I expected her to look at me in anger but she didn't, she shrugged at Pete with a confused frown on her face. "And who might this lady be?" She looked me straight in the eyes and smiled.

"This is my girlfriend Paige." He said to her calmly, glancing at me with a grim across his face. "Paige this is Ashlee, Ashlee this is Paige. You guys are now acquainted!"

Ashlee opened the door moving out of the way gesturing us to enter her house. "Please come in. I'm sorry, I didn't you'd actually be on time today Pete, so Bronx isn't all the way ready yet." She laughed walking up the stairs.

Peter and I were left down stairs on her couch silently. "So how do you like her?" Pete whispered to me breaking the silence.

"Well, I still don't know her well but she seems nice. A lot nicer than I thought." I whispered back giving him a wink.

"I'm glad you think that, because you'll have to spend more time with her than preferred because of me and Bronx." He stuck his tongue out at me and I was tempted to grab his tongue to make him regret doing that to me. Instead, I settled with giving him a stupid face in return.

Ashlee and Bronx shortly walked down the stairs, gripping onto the railing to make sure he didn't fall. He got to the bottom of the stairs and ran directly to his father. He buried his face into Pete's chest, wrapping his tiny arms around his fathers body. He lifted his head for a second from the hug, "I missed you a lot, daddy." He returned his head to where it was. Pete scooped him up and planted a kiss onto his sons forehead, I couldn't help but smile. Wouldn't it be awesome to have someone to love like that? Someone who was all your own, you got to decide how they learned and how they played. Having one human completely reliant on you. You got to take care of then and protect them, and when they were upset, cuddle with them in bed.

"Thanks for getting him ready Ash." Pete grabbed my hand poking me up from the couch. I squeezed on tight to make sure he didn't leave me. "Oh anytime Pete. Hey, I forgot to ask, but could you keep him next weekend too?" She smiled at Peter and then me, she looked so hopeful that if Pete said no it would crush her dreams.

"Oh of course! I wouldn't say no to seeing my son!" He messed up Bronx's, and Bronx fought back.

"Thanks so much, and nice meeting you Paige!" She stuck out her hand with a smile on her face. I shook her hand and turned to leave.

Pete had Bronx set up in the car and we started driving. Within minutes the little guy was passed out in the back, snoring his cute little snores.

"She's a lot nicer than I thought." I rested my hand on his arm and looked at him. I saw his eyebrows scrunch up like he was thinking, he turned his head from the road to look at me, "Who, Ashlee?" I nodded to him and just laughed. "I mean she's not the nicest person in the world when you get to know her.. But she's not a bitch like everyone says she is." He just laughed at it which made me feel a ping of jealous strike up in my veins.

"Well why did you guys desperate then?" I eyed him and his laugh faded.

"We were young, false hope in love I guess. We were just stupid and reckless that's all. The honeymoon stage faded quickly and we couldn't keep our hands off each others throats," he looked back at the sleeping Bronx, "I love him to death, but with Bronx and everything we forced into something we both weren't prepared for. I wouldn't change a second of it, we are just better off as friends rather than lovers." The sting in my veins faded and I felt my cheeks cool down.

"Okay, makes sense." I just gave him a dramatic smile.

"If you don't like her you don't have to go back, and if you're uncomfortable with Bronx, we could try to figure out some arrangement if you'd like?" He look at me very concerned.

"Oh no.. No that's not it at all. I just didn't know why you and Ashlee split. I don't have a problem at all with Bronx, I love kids!"

"Okay good." He went back to driving. The cool air hit my face from the air conditioning and I smiled, something about today just made me want to smile.

"What is it like being a parent, Pete?"

Pete's POV

She looked sad asking that question. Her eyes looked sunken in, and it made me sad. I didn't know whether to give her a meaningful speech or just a short version. I felt like I'd make her sad, but I wanted to give it to her straight up. "It's different at the least. Before Bronx was here, I didn't take responsibility for my actions. Now I have this kid who I have to be for. Who means the world to me, and had made me a better person. He saved my in return for me giving him his life. I love him with all my heart, and I couldn't live with myself if I let anything happen to him." I looked over at her and saw a slight smile form on her face.

"It sounds like the best thing ever... But scary." Paige grabbed my hand and stared out her window.

"It's definitely scary. Do you want to have kids someday, baby?" Her face dropped and I thought I had crossed the line.

"I don't know yet, I think so..." She paused in thought, "Yes I do want to have kids soon." She nodded and smiled like she was confident in her answer. Do I even want another kid? Could I handle it, could Bronx handle it? So many questions, and so little time. What if things don't work out.

I squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Do you want to try?" I saw Paige's face brighten up. She turned to the road and didn't let go of my hand the rest of the car ride, occasional looking back at Bronx with a grin.

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I'm sorry it's been so long! Thank you for all the reads. I've just been having a tough time lately. Message.. Comment... Anything. I'd really appreciate it guys.