poetry iv: thot confessions

xxiii. nyquil (a mess of thoughts)

nyquil.

a mess of thoughts, nothing more.

november 21, 2017.

8:26 pm.

i'm in bed already... at 7:30 pm i was here. 

bored and tired and wanting your attention.

i can imagine this now... my parents saying it:

its not normal. you're a teenager. 

you used to stay up all hour of the night like everyone else,

but now you go to bed at 8 pm every night.

something's happened. something's changed me.

it's a whole array of things... and i can't talk about it...

i'll just be told about how dramatic i am,

or i won't be able to let it out. 

i'm not sure how to. 

(maybe i've convinced myself something is wrong when nothing is

and i really am just being melodramatic.)

i don't even know exactly what this whole array is...

so i pop some nyquil to help me sleep at night and go to bed early, so what?

otherwise, i wouldn't mind some alcohol and a group of new people that don't know me...

it's whatever