The Story of an Unused Smile

Locked In The Bathroom

My thoughts were running wild there was so much to think about in the short time i had left. Am I weak to be doing this to myself? Will anyone miss me when Im gone? None of these thoughts were strong enough to make me change my mind. My whole life has led to this. I couldn't escape the thought that if he was here none of this would be happening. It's my fault i'm the freak. I couldn't turn my life around if I tried. I listened closely with me head leaning on the door. Nobody was coming, this was my chance. I don't need a letter, no one would read it anyways. Nobody cares. Those words kept playing in my head like a broken record player. Nobody cares, Nobody cares, Nobody cares.

My hands were shaking but i managed to do it. One cut for my family leaving me. One cut for believing things would get better, and another for being wrong. I kept thinking of reasons to continue. Two cuts for him leaving me. Another cut for being suicidal. Lastly Three more cuts for doing this to myself. I let the blood drip down my arms and down to my legs. I start feeling really drowsy and drained. The last thing I saw before I hit the ground was my reflection in the large oval shaped mirror hanging on the wall. I saw a innocent girl who just needed a break. I was broken enough, my arms bled giving me a sensational feeling no one can really describe. I did though. I needed a break, It felt like i was battling a battle i didn't want to win. I continued fighting though, I couldn't stop. This is the break I needed , I just wanted to go home to a loving family. Nobody would have expected me to do such an awful thing to myself, but I had to.

I drifted away letting go of all my troubles and worries. I had finally escaped. Depression is terrible. It's like youre drowning but you can't die, so you just struggle. I'm not weak i am brave enough to end this war, even if that mean I would have to sacrifice something as precious as life. Life is also delicate, like a flower, everyone knows that flowers don't last forever. Unless they are fake, then the will thrive throughout time. Leaving memories, both good and bad wilted in the past. I dont want to end my life, but I want to end the pain that comes with it. I felt my get heavy. I had done it, I had committed suicide.

Thanks for reading the first Chapter. Comment who you think "him" is. The person who gets it correct will get a shoutout in the next chapter.

- Anastasia