I was angry at myself. I was sad. I wanted to cry I wanted to apologize. I had said some thing I shouldn't have said. I was angry at the time. I was to stupid to notice that you cared in your own special way.
To caught up in the fact that I would be tripping all over the place if you didn't point out that my shoes were untied. To dumb to notice that I only left the house in a good mood every morning because you never let me leave without listening to a joke or a kiss and a cup of coffee.
Maybe I am just to concerned with myself to notice what others did for me. Maybe your right. I sat on my bed. Not a tear leaking from my eyes. I wanted to tear down the lights that we strung up in our room. I wanted to scratch the paint off the walls the we took two days to lather on and burn every single picture in the frames that lined our hallway. Most importantly I wanted to escape the memories that we had created together. So I did.
I stood and ran from the house that we worked so hard to buy. The rain on my back and hitting my face as my hair dampened. I stopped out of breath. a car sped past and through puddle it went. I got even more wet and cold.
One, then two street lights turned on. Before I knew it I was sobbing loudly. Unable to hold it in. I wanted your touch, I wanted you to hold me and warm me up. I wanted you to whisper into my ear and tell me it's all okay. That you forgive me and I want to say I'll be better this time.
The rain on my back and hitting my face as my hair was completely wet now stopped. I looked up at your kind eyes. I opened my mouth to speak but you shushed me.
It's time to wake up
I opened my eyes and looked up to the ceiling which was now empty no lights were hung. A tear slid down my face and I cried as a feeling that you were never going to come back hit me. A knock on the front door sounded through the empty house.
I stood and ran to answer where you accepted me in your warm embrace.
Please stay. Don't leave me this time. I promise to be better.
There's no need for that when I love you just the way you are. Please never change and never cry tears of sorrow like the rain outside cries for your losses. As long as you are happy the sun will show. It will warm your heart even more as it warms our skin.
A kiss so soft it almost felt unrealistic and a faint I love you as I fell even deeper in love with you and into the land of my dreams. Even though it rained outside, my heart felt happy. Inside the sun was shining.
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