Flashback

Chapter 1- Looking Back

I wake up to the sound of my alarm blasting. Another day that will most likely go bad. Today is January 3, our first day back from Christmas break. I throw on my red sweater, curl my hair and try to act happy. I walk to school because my older brother, Will  is too lazy to drive me.
    I walk in the building and find my best friend Sariah perched by her locker, being the social butterfly she usually is. I walk up to her and I try to be positive. But instead I'm breaking. My anxiety had got really bad ever since about September, and I had been battling it ever since then. I'd freak out over the smallest things. It wasn't the most fun in the world.
     The first bell rings shortly after that, and I walk to first period. I pass my crush, Casey, who used to like me up until a misunderstanding about a month ago. But now we ignore each other at every turn and never say a word to the other even though we have English together. I missed him.
     The day flies by like a normal one, and my jerk of a math teacher decides to assign us homework our first day back. Isn't that great.
      I go home, grab food, and go in my room to hide, like I do on a normal day. I try to do my math homework but I don't succeed. I've really been struggling in honors this year. I go to dinner, and smile and laugh to trick my family. But they don't even seem to be paying any attention to me, all the attention is placed on my Will, who found out he made the basketball team today. Figures, I get up, put my dishes in the sink and go to my room again.
     About an hour later I go take a shower, and showers always bring back so much in my head. I think about this year, and how it's had it's good moments, but nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same, not the same as last year.
     Last year was the best year of my life. Some people say your first year of Junior High School is horrible, but it was the total opposite for me. I met so many amazing people, grew in confidence and just enjoyed every second. Over the summer, I expected this year to be exactly the same. But it's not. It's funny how things can go from so good to so bad in such short time.
I begin to cry silent tears, resting my head on the wall, water flowing all around me. I think of the first day, how I had no idea how much that year would change me. I thought of when I met my new friends, my favorite classes, even the little things. Passing notes, group assignments, presentations, signals from across the room, awards, gatherings, new groups, and so, so much more.
     I never thought those memories could haunt me, ever. I thought they'd always be happy. I didn't think they could make me cry, regret things now.
As I continue to think about all that, the same lines keep coming to my mind. Why can't I go back? I wish I could go back. I want to go back so bad.
     They tell me I should enjoy these moments right now, but how can I when all I can think about is my past life? Memories aren't kind.
     When I finally calm myself down, I step out of the shower and dry myself off. I put my pajamas on, and shiver from the sudden cold. I look in the mirror. My eyes look scared, confused, helpless. Tears stain my cheeks and I nearly start crying again. But I stop myself, clear up my face as much as I can, and go to my room.
     I finish my History homework that I was supposed to do over the break that's due tomorrow, and go to bed.
That night I dream of my first day of seventh grade, and how I felt.   Nervousness, as I walk around, lost and confused of what I was doing. But it's only a dream. I recognize Sariah, the Sariah before me and her got in a six month fight. I wave, because me and her have been friends for a long time. As I continue down the hall I spy Calista, my close friend I would later meet in December. I also see Ivy, she was in my first period, and later becomes close to me too. I find Casey, talking to his best friend Carter, who was in my third period, science. I see Sam, who was in my math and art classes, and who understood my hobby of writing.
     Seeing all these people again sparked so much in my mind, and brought back my happy place. My dreams that night were of the first three months of that year, the beginning of my favorite year.
     When I woke up, something felt different. I was wearing different pajamas than I had been the night before. My room was different, one of my posters was gone. But the biggest difference was when I looked at my calendar and it read a year before.
     Something had happened. My wish had come reality. Can I go back, had become I did go back.