Yesterday Once More

Prolouge

Some came into our lives and we thought that they will be there for us forever. Little do you know you two aren't really for each other.

I am Magnolia Wakenson  and I grew up in a household where only my mother was my mom and also my dad. To make a long story short I was only raised by my mom which makes her a single mother.

My mother was supposedly a doctor by now if she didn't gave up her dreams just because I came into this world earlier than she expected to concieve a baby. I grew up not knowing who my dad really is. In my eighteen years of existence I never met him. Even once.

I once overheard my mom when I was about 12 years old weeping in front of pops --my grandpa. She had an appointment to her doctor since she is in her earlier stage of lung cancer. Pops was patting her back telling mom that it was okay to cry and those calming words gave her an assurance made her burst out crying.

"I saw him Dad. He is a good father to his children and I have no regrets in letting him go because I never thought that he can brightly smile like that again Dad." Mom said.

That when suddenly reality hits me. We are not dad's first family nor his first choice. As a kid it hurts so bad not just because I am slapped with the reality that my dad never loved us but also seeing my mother crying that night.  

From then on, I am always making an excuses to myself that Dad isn't here because we aren't the first family that he had. But still, my dad's identity was still a mystery and I grew more curious about him. What was he like?

After three years of battling cancer, I lost the only person that I had. My mom. When the doctor announced my mom's death that was also the first time I saw Pops became weak. My mom was her only precious daughter which my grandma left her.

 When the words haven't come, the tears did. The grieving was meant to be something honorable and stoic in my family, but I burst out crying like a kid, noisily, with snot streaming and wails escapes, and I was not embarrassed. I just lost my mom. The only person I can hold on to aside from Pops.

The emptiness of my heart, the numbness of his brain, the salty tears that streamed uncontrolled from my eyes, the shear of emptiness that now took hold of my mind, threatened to consume me completely. My legs crossed,knees falling into the sodden soil as I watched the casket go down towards its final resting spot.

That was also the day I left our town for good and the day where I started to hate the absence of a man that I need in this time. My dad.

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hi guys!

It's been a rough year for all of us since there is pandemic going on though I've learned a lot this year most especially a life-lesson. I hope all you are okay. I hope your support are still there. Love you and stay safe.

eveninglory.