All The Chapters I Never Read Out Loud

A Journey To Forever

You promised to be with me forever knowing that forever is an extremely long journey which never comes to an end but you still gave me an assurance.

You vowed to accept me,my flaws, my insecurities, my weakness and my shortcomings knowing how imperfect and clumsy I am.

You invalidate secret between us so I believed in you and poured out everything without leaving the faintest confidentiality.

You said you may not constantly make me happy but you undertake to share my sadness and pain.

You pledged to protect me from the cruel world, you became my comfort zone where I run to for protection, support, shield and relief.

You took an oath never to let go of me, to hold on to me when I stumble, to rise me up when I fall, to give me shoulders to cry on whenever I need one.

After believing in you without an Oita of doubt, we decided to embark on a journey.

A journey to “forever” together.

You hold my hand tightly as we begin the journey, we walk in the same stride, we overcame a lot of calamities, cross a lot of bridges and stumbles.

We walked a reasonable distance through a lot of roads, some are smooth while others are fuzzy but we still keep our heads up.

Then all of a sudden, our pace stopped matching, and gradually our hands slipped, I didn't give up but decided to let you lead.

I followed without precaution as you lead. Without an explanation you changed the destination, you deviated from the road.

You kept on moving without looking back, not at least an explanation for the change. And the naive me kept trailing behind you till you disappeared without a trace.

Now that I have to walk alone on the fuzzy road,

I want to believe that we aren’t meant to make it through the journey together.

I want to believe that you were not lying coz the moment you disappeared proved that you never meant a word you said.

I want to believe you are still a good person but only turn out to be a victim of circumstance.

I pray for the courage to hate you but I ended up hating only what you did.

I detest lying,

But I despise hatred more,

No matter how much I despise both,

I hate myself most for still admiring you.