POETRIES I should've SPOKEN

'I love you'

Just when I thought it's over
Just when I thought I have to leave
Just when I thought I have to forget
I have been planning to fight
But I thought letting go is right

But you came
You said you'll never visit me once more
But you're standing infront of my door
You said you'll never show up again
Oh crap,  you just did
You showed me your tears that you hid
And for a second,  I thought of hugging you

But I didn't
But I can't
Or should I say,
I wouldn't
Because you told me not to

At the second thought
I think...
You don't mean to be here
You said you hate me near
I thought you'll be running away
But I was wrong, again

I should've be happy in your arms
I should've been smiling really wide
I should've hugging you back
But I can't
I can't be happy knowing you'll leave me later, again

We stayed in that position for a minute
Only a minute
But a minute is too much time to broke my heart
In just a minute, you killed me once more
In a minute, I think you brought me at the start

And then, You held my hands
And stare
You held my hands and stare at me like I'll be gone tomorrow
Like I did not cause you sorrow

I saw something in your eyes
Longing...
Pain...
Your hurting...
And I'm hurting too
I'm missing you,  every second

'I love you',  you said
A tear escaped my eyes
And the lines
It's gone
My heartbeat stops for a second
I must be happy
But instead, it hurts

For the first time
I am not happy to know
I'm not flatter now
I'm not blushing too

Instead, I'm breaking
I'm feeling the pain
My heart is aching
I'm sorry,  your 'I love you' hurts me

And for the first time
I think I hated that words
Because after you told me you love me
You left and bid 'goodbye'

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I did not follow rules of making a poem 'coz I prefer writing without thinking about it.

I don't have such heartbreak. This is just inspired by a certain story.

I'm willing to hear critics.

11.23.17