The Dark Days

Thirty.

Peter is still asleep when I come back. I take off my shoes, socks, and jacket and climb in next to him, allowing him to hold me tightly against him. Even though both my body and mind are exhausted, I don't sleep. I stare at the darkness of the room until he wakes up.

"What time is it?" he asks, groaning and rubbing  the sleep from his eyes.

"Seven in the morning," I tell him, not bothering to put feeling into the words.

"What's wrong?" he murmers, brushing my hair out of my face.

I sit up. "Peter, I have to confess something. Something we should've discussed long ago. I'm sorry that I have crazy spells and I leave in a tizzy. The truth is, insomnia wasn't the only thing I got from that car crash. I also got a devastating fear of being trapped, whether physically or mentally, it doesn't matter. That's why I hate being stuck in one place for too long. When I ran away from you that night on the cliff, it wasn't because I didn't know what to say. My brain automatically translated your plea into a trap. A place I would have to stay in for an extended period of time. That's why I panicked and hesitated. That's why I was slow to answer. I wasn't sure that my brain could handle it. When I realized it could, I also realized something else: I'm in love with you, Peter. I am hopelessly and stupidly in love with you. Picies offered to take me away from Neverland that night at the picnic, from you - That's when it finally hit me. That's when I realized just how much I've fallen for you. I wanted to leave, I'll admit it. I wanted to go and never look back, but I couldn't. Because of you.

"I know you're wondering what I put into that vial. I don't think you honestly want to know the truth, but I owe it to you. The reason that vial was so much stronger than the real Curse was because I put a piece of a pure heart into it. A piece so bright and untainted it appeared almost like the sun."

Peter sits up. "I don't understand," he says. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"It was mine," I say, letting tears slip down my face. "It was my heart I put into that vial."

Peter doesn't move, doesn't breathe, as he stares at me in horror. His silence only makes me cry harder, but I don't regret my actions - Not one bit. I can feel his gaze, but I don't dare turn to look at him. Suddenly he gets out of bed, a furious aura coming off him in waves. He puts on his socks, ties his shoes, and leaves, taking the Curse with him, and slams the door behind him. I hear the lock click into place.

I begin to sob now. I try to stop and breathe, but trying only makes it worse. Instead I curl up into a ball and let my tears fall, let my lungs burst with emotion. My hair falls in my face, gets in my mouth, goes to every inconvenient place it can possibly go, but I don't touch it. I know that if I do I'll rip it out of my scalp. All of it.

I continue to cry for hours, unable to stop the flow of pain that comes out of my very soul. When I finally stop sobbing, I still cry, and I know the tears won't stop anytime soon. I unfurl myself and get out of bed, going to the shower with a fresh pair of clothes. I don't stay long, and when I come out, I see a paper bag on the end of the bed. I cry harder, but I stay silent. I go to the bed and sit beside the bag. I open it; A simple meal sits inside, and I force every bit of it down my throat.

I go to a wide open space in the middle of the room, moving my body into a defensive position. I furiously punch at the air, giving it two straights and a hook, then another straight and a kick. I realize that this isn't doing much, so I drop and do 100 push-ups, sit ups, and squats. After that I run for an hour and a half, estimating the distance as roughly ten kilometers. I then did 100 lunges, planks, and back-bends. I stop when I see another bag at the foot of the bed, along with two bottles of water. I drink, realizing that I've finally stopped crying, and eat the small meal exactly as I ate the first one.

Once again I attack the air. I don't stop until I can no longer stand, and I pant deeply as I wipe the moisture from my neck. I take another shower, and afterwards I put on pajamas. Again I see a bag at the end of my bed, only this time, I don't eat the meal.

****

"Pan, it's perfect," Felix insists. "Look at it, it's exactly how you designed it."

"There's still something missing," he says, and continues to contemplate where exactly he went wrong. Then he realizes something - it's not what he missed. It's what he didn't think of. Peter goes to the back of the house, gathering up all of the energy he has left. He pushes his hands out and sets to work. It takes him a long time to get the details exactly right, but eventually, he finds himself satisfied. "There," he says, turning to Felix. "What do you think?"

"It's definitely amazing," Felix states, looking around in awe. "I wish I could live here."

Peter doesn't chuckle. He doesn't even crack a smile. He feels empty, and hollow. Despite his lack of feelings, he trusts Felix's judgement. Felix wouldn't lie to him about something as important as this.

"You should get some rest," Felix tells him.

"I'll sleep here tonight," Peter replies, "make sure you're ready in the morning." And with that, they part ways.

Two more chapters, my loveliiiiiiiieeeeeeees!!

PS:

OOONE PUUUUUUUUNNNNNNCCCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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