I Fell Anyway

Chapter 1

8th grade. It’s supposed to be the best year. The year where you leave all the childish things behind. The year before you actually get into any high school drama. The year my life was ruined. I sound dramatic, but it’s true. It’s the year everything changed.

8th grade is the last year I remember being happy. Truly happy, at least until he came along. More about him later. 8th grade was fun for the most part, I was popular, I had plenty of friends, grades weren’t a problem, and everything was fine, more than fine even.

But that all changed. She had to come along and ruin my fun. The ‘she’ I am referring to is Keisha Emerson. She was a friend, more like an acquaintance, but I was naïve and thought everyone was my friend. She was part of the popular crowd, and so was I. I hadn’t realized that popularity came with a price, until after I had to pay for it.

Keisha wasn’t well liked, but I was. I was Ally’s sister, and she was the ‘it’ girl. I didn’t know that I was the girl, every other girl wanted to replace, and Ally was the girl everyone wanted to be friends with. Keisha knew, and she used it against me.

I had made a couple new friends outside of the popular group and started to hang out with them more, but that didn’t stop Keisha. She tried to turn them against me too.  I was talking to Megan, and Ally called me over. As I talked to Ally, I saw Keisha talking to Megan. I smiled, thinking Megan might be welcomed into the popular group. Oh how wrong I was.

I went back to Megan smiling, expecting good news. Instead she had a somber expression on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she told me, “Keisha just came over and told me, ‘You shouldn’t hang out with Hailey anymore, none of us like her.’”

Though it was years ago, I still remember how I felt. Betrayal, that was the first thing I felt and the first time I felt it. Not being good enough, I don’t think anyone should feel that way, but somehow I just knew that’s exactly what Keisha wanted me to feel. I realized at that moment that Keisha was a force to reckoned with, but that didn’t stop me.

3 years later, there I was. Still popular, still holding my grudge against Keisha, still broken. I knew about the things she said about me, but she never realized why they hurt and how much they hurt.

“I bet she’s on her period, she’s always so cranky” My brother was 2 at the time and always woke up the entire house in the middle of the night. I always argued with my mom about everything, so I always came to school angry.

“She’s so fat, how can Ally be related to that thing” I didn’t have the time to exercise, my mom was always having me do chores and helping around the house, where was the time. We also ate fast food all the time, having no time or energy to cook healthy meals. Ally was almost never home and she was on the cheer team, she lived to be fit.

Keisha may have not realized it, but she broke me that year. Most of the time I think she meant to, but other times, I don’t think anyone would wish this upon anyone. Even with all that I’ve gone through I wouldn’t want anyone, even Keisha, to have to go through it. Maybe it’s because I have been through it. Maybe because I know that most people aren’t strong enough to go through it.

Most of you won’t or don’t get what I’m writing, well I’m writing a story, my story, and if he’s out there somewhere he’s correcting me like he always does and says it’s our story, though I’m telling it, so I’ll call it mine.  I sound selfish, and I am he’s the better half of us. Yes I’m admitting you’re better than me.

Back to my point, why am I writing this? I’m writing to thank him and explain to another dear friend who knows everything about me, but just doesn’t understand, maybe this will help.