Roots ; s.mendes

S T U M P

Once Eloise said those words to Piper, my whole world caved in. We ran from the rain and we left our love in it, left to drown in the raindrops and the sorrow from her tears. our love drowned in that rain that didn't stop falling from the day her wonderful tree became a stump, to the day she died.

Her feet carried her with such ease it seemed as though she floated through the air. Stamina and speed like light, Piper fled down the road and to the forest at the sheer mention of her sanctuary which held so much love and so many memories.

She avoided the cracks in the sidewalk and the broken glass that had broken me as her feet skipped with a shooting grace. If you only saw those small feet and not the whole picture maybe it'd look like she was laughing and skipping. But if you zoomed out you'd see the horror on her face, the wind in her hair, the rain mashed with the tears as they all cascade down her red cheeks and her red nose with such utter desperation- then you'd realise this wasn't a happy girl but a broken one.

We finally reached the opening of the forest, the branches that parted for us to fit through. Piper's feet didn't stop running so that she could squeeze through the opening she just ran straight through it, her skinny frame gliding through it with such ease. And so I made the fatal error of not stopping either.

I ran straight through the sharp branches and menacing thorns with such an frustrating naivety that I should've known better than to think that just this once life would be kind.
Life was never kind.

Thunder cackled above me as my right leg was suddenly erupted with a stinging sensation, I felt my warm blood against my cold skin and I ached. I was torn, do i stop and see what I've done or do i toss everything aside for Piper yet again. Why can't I just think about myself for one fraction of a second?

I looked down at my leg and when I saw the huge hole in my treasured black pants I broke down. Tears streamed down my face and I screamed and whimpered like a puppy without an owner, I cried and I stung and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. They were another limb to me, one that had now been hashed open.

Everything I had ever done flashed before me, like I was on my deathbed- my life taunting me. I watched my sister scream, I watched my brother punch his fists into the paper walls, I watched my mother swig her terrifying poison, I watched us put her to bed, I watched Eloise on the roof, I watched Gregory's girlfriend call him a freak on our doorstep, I watched her slap him, I watched Pipers smile, I watched her head toss backwards. I watched her bitten fingers hold my own, I watched my hands on her empty chest, I watched her face light up as she showed us her tree, I watched her old blonde hair bounce, I watched the old us on the streets, I watched us take Polaroid pictures, I watched Piper take Eloise into her room and lock me out, I watched everything That ever was important in my life when one terrifying memory resurfaced.

"No, I don't want to think about that." I whispered to myself through my sobs. The rain fell harder and I fell wetter, my lungs pumped air vigorously as they burned like I wildfire, slowly catching all my other organs alight, leaving my insides all blazing hot. I slapped my chest with my palm, begging for the fire to stop.

The branches around me started to twist into terrifying faces and creatures, all mocking me, every twisting terrifying branch was forming  all of my horrible memories while my lungs screeched for air. I felt like somebody was squeezing my lungs tight, like an elastic band was tied around them not allowing any air in.

The branches twisted once more and my father stood before me, the gap in the forest where I had just cut my pants on was now filled with his tall silhouette. His arms were muscular and a bag lay on his shoulder, his firsts were balled together. The trees soon tangled and former my hallway in my paper home, and my father was at the open doorway, cigarette in his mouth.

"Don't leave!" My mother pleaded, grabbing at his wrists as though they were made of gold. She wanted something so useless, so disgusting and so dreadful as though it was the most incredible thing in the world. Why do people have this effect on us? Why do we desire everything we can't have even if it's something you utterly don't need?

I didn't know why she begged for him to stay as if the decision was spontaneous. She acted as though they were happy when they were not. You see, if somebody punches you in the stomach it'll hurt whether you were expecting it or not. So if the person you love stops loving you back, you're going to feel the blow even if you saw it coming.

My father shook my mothers small frame from his wrist and she fell toppling backwards and into the wall.
I looked down and saw my famous black pants.

"Dad." Gregory squeaked, he was losing his only masculine role model.

"Dad." Eloise squeaked, she was losing the person that was supposed to be protective over her future boyfriends.

"Leave." I squeaked. For I was losing nothing; only the things that I wanted him to be which he never would be.

"Stop it!" I managed to squeeze through my lack of breath. My voice echoed into the trees and I clawed at the tree trunks and sobbed into my hands. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" My fathers figure slowly twisted back into the branches and the trees no longer resembled my brother and sister and mother but resembled trees again as I finally breathed.

Everything moved so fast and suddenly pipers words made sense, all I needed was a second to breathe, to take in what was happening before I moved on. I inhaled everything I wanted to do, and I exhaled everything that was holding me back before proceeding into the woods.

I ran quickly through the branches and followed the familiar trail to Pipers tree to find her broken body sat crying at the tree, which was now a stump. My heart sank and rain hammered down onto my back as I cried everything inside me out.

"Guys, my pants! My pants, they're ruined!" I sobbed, my hands on my knees. "They're ruined, I'm ruined."

"They're just pants Shawn get a grip!" Piper cried, turning towards me, her hands still rested on the tree stump but her eyes were filled with tears and fury.

"You know what?! Fuck you! You only think about yourself! For once I wish you would stop being so dramatic!" I yelled. "Not everything is a Shakespearean tragedy, we don't all have to have this crazy book-character personality! You're just a girl, it's just a tree, they're just pants and you're just fucking rude! You're rude when you don't reply to me, you're rude when you leave me out, you're a rude, dramatic little girl who thinks the worlds against her when she sticks the target on her forehead herself! Why don't you get a grip Piper? And stop being such an asshole." I screamed, everything inside me fell out.

"You know what? You're right, I'm sorry." She didn't look at me, just turned around and cried again.

Eloise stood a few steps back from Piper, a note in her hand. She passed the crumpled paper into my oblivious hands.

Dear Asshole,

You think you can burn my car and get away with it? Karmas a bitch, Piper.

-Brandon

And my blood boiled and Pipers cooled, as that was the last time I ever saw Piper Hughes breathing.