Marked As His: The Curse Mark (Book 2)

Guilt

Two summers had passed by after the incident with my father's pack. A number of us had gone into rehab and therapy to overcome the treacherous events that had occurred during that cold winter night. We may have been werewolves, but we weren't invincible.

"So Claire, what are some predicaments that are still reoccurring in your mind?" Ms. Everdeen, my pack's therapist had asked me.

"Honestly, all I can see is the death I've caused." I replied.

"Ah, so do you sort of feel at fault for what has occurred in the past?" She questioned.

At fault...? It was so much more than just 'at fault,' the war that was waged between my packs were entirely because of me! ... But I could never tell her that.

My eyes glanced over towards the digital clock that rest atop Ms. Everdeen's desk, 12:17pm, it read. "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry but I might have to cut today's sessions a little short if that's alright," I awkwardly spoke, "I forgot that Dale and I planned a lunch date today." I quickly grabbed my purse and excused myself from her office. My schedule had become so busy lately, that it felt like everything I had planned was done without much thought.

Dale had been planning this date for weeks now, he told me he'd prepare everything and that all I had to do was meet him on his balcony. It seemed simple enough but I still couldn't even do it right. As I made my way up to his room, everything around me seemed to become a blur... I saw the mourning faces of widows who had lost their husbands, the mothers who lost their sons and daughters, and the children who had lost their parents. Over the years, I found that death is universal, and grieving makes beginners out of us all. There is no instruction manual on how to cope with it, there is only time, day by day and sometimes minute by minute, to feel what works and to cast aside what doesn't. Unfortunately for my pack and I, nothing seemed to be working. Every-time their eyes happened upon me, I could feel the blame rise from their hearts and strike me down towards guilt and shame. This is what I've had to face everyday since that night.

The guilt was overwhelming, everyday the same words ran through my mind 'it's all your fault, you've caused death and pain for everyone and a needless war for those who didn't have to fight in it.'

"Claire? Are you alright?" An elderly woman named Debby had asked me. I met Debby a couple days after the attack years ago. Late at night, I would sneak out to visit Luke's grave, there was nothing left of him but I still thought it proper to make a memorial to mourn upon. Debby was always there too. I had learned that she was Luke's caretaker when he was still only a child. Luke lost his parents to a car accident when he was only 3 years old... something I hadn't had the chance to learn from him himself.

"I'm doing alright," I managed to choke out, "I've got to meet with Dale- yea, so just making my way there," I quickly stated as I moved along.

Debby was the last person I wanted to see, she wouldn't ever openly admit it personally, but I know that she still feels like I'm responsible for Luke's passing. I couldn't disagree with her more.

"Have fun dear!" She called out after me.

I approached Dale's room, slowly pushing open the tall doors and making my way inside. The balcony doors had already been opened.

"Ah, Claire! Late as always," Dale had jokingly said, "but it's alright because you look incredibly beautiful, so I think I'll let this one slide." He said with a soft smile.

"This table is new," I said while looking at the circular glass table that now rested on our balcony. It was decorated with red rose petals, scattered along the surface. There was a large bowl of creamy penne pasta and a plate of soft garlic breadsticks. "This looks more like a dinner than a lunch meal." I spoke.

"I just wanted to make sure that my girl gets enough to eat." Dale replied.

I took my seat across from him and he began to distribute the pasta onto our plates. "Did you make all of this?" I asked.

"Of course I did, you must miss home cooked meals, so I try to cook for you as much as I can." He said, shaking off the spoon. "Here, have a few breadsticks too!" I watched as he piled a good number of them onto my plate.

"Thanks grandma." I spoke sarcastically while digging into my meal.

"Grandma wants a big kiss!" Dale said as he reached his arms out towards me.

"Haha no way!" I chuckled, playfully pushing his arms away. Dale had always known how to make me laugh, even when I didn't want to something as simple as smile.

"So what's been going on in your mind lately?" Dale asked me.

"Why do you always ask me that every time we're together?" I replied.

"Just in case you're going through things that I'm not aware of, sweetie." He said with a big smile. "I'd never want you to face anything alone. People often wait for others to tell them their problems, but I like to ask- just in case anyone's too scared to speak up."

I glanced away and swallowed the pasta down like a dose of guilt.