Marked As His: The Curse Mark (Book 2)

The Plan

My eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing, a figure slipped across the dark trees in front of me. "Luke? Is that you?" I exclaimed, slowly tracing towards it. I had caught a glimpse of his blonde hair trailing under the moonlight.

"Claire, I've got something to show you," a voice called back. It was Luke!

I began to pick up my pace and call after him. "What? What is it? What do you have to show me?" My eyes began to adjust to the darkness, as I made my way through the trees. "Luke?" I continued to call out.

"I've got to show you something," he kept saying, "I've got to show you-" his voice suddenly became maniacal and low, "what you've DONE TO ME." I instantly saw the branches around me begin to twist and burst into flames, a deep dark liquid sprang from the ground with Luke's face trapped inside of it- he had his mouth gaping open, as if he were screaming for help... I stared in disturbance, hot tears were rushing down my cheeks. The liquid reached my feet and instantly burned my skin, I began to scream in pain and agony—

"Claire! Wake up, please, are you okay?" My eyes slowly opened, I could feel Dale hunching over me, holding me within both of his arms.

Dale didn't let go of me for the rest of the night.

I often had similar versions of that dream, most times, I wasn't able to see Luke and I'd only be able to hear his voice.

Either way, the dream was a mental confirmation signifying that I wasn't strong enough to overcome my guilt. It wasn't post traumatic stress haunting me, it wasn't my inability to let go of the pain hurting me, it was merely the simple fact that I caused innocent lives to be lost and I couldn't live with that.

I had laid in bed all day thinking about the burdens that lay on my shoulders. Was this really the reality I had to face? I'd rather have those around me blame me endlessly for my wrong doings than to walk around knowing I was guilty but have everyone act like I wasn't.

I heard a soft knock at the door and light began to pour into the dark room.

It was Dale.

"Claire? Is it alright if we had a serious conversation?" He had asked with concern.

"Mhm," I replied sluggishly.

"For starters, I want you to know that I'm here for you, I want to be the type of man who'll never give up on you. Seeing you weak is one of my greatest weaknesses, but it doesn't change the fact that I'll try my best to be strong enough for the both of us at times where you're feeling like this..." he took in a deep breathe, "please, tell me what's wrong."

There's no way I could tell him what was bothering me. Perhaps it was just my stubbornness or prideful personality getting in the way, but I already had an idea of what he'd say. It'd go something like "what? Don't say that, our pack did what they did to protect you as their Luna, you'll have to forgive yourself as they have forgiven you and lead them with confidence."

It was always like that. Some words of encouragement to brush away the situation. It was a lot easier said than done. But forgiving myself? Would he ever be able to forgive himself if he was the cause of several deaths? It was hard enough as it was to get over my brother's death all those years ago- and now, the weight of several more was just too much for me to bear.

"Please let me be alone." I murmured.

"I'd never let a beautiful, depressed girl be alone." He playfully responded, I assume he was trying to lighten up the mood or get me to laugh, but it wasn't working today. "Come on Claire, nows not the time to be stubborn. I really want you to be happy, please work with me."

"Dale. Stop it, I'm serious. I'm... I'm...-" tears rushed down my face, how could I tell him how much I resented myself? How could I tell him the amount of burdens and un-forgiveness I let pile within my chest? Or about the haunting thoughts that I let control my mind? "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE DALE!" I shouted out of a hateful place within my heart- hate I had for myself and for my father. "Why do you have to act this way? Why do you act like you love me so much? I destroyed your home, your land, my father took the lives of your people, all because of ME! I've been nothing but trouble to you and so why Dale?! Why don't you just yell at me, why can't you stand up for yourself and tell me your true feelings? Do you resent me? Do you wished we'd never met? Give me something more than your love so I can live with my guilt!"

I closed my eyes and cried. I heard Dale's soft voice speak to me, "I'm sorry Claire, but I can't leave you alone. I love you, so let me." His hands grasped my hands and he wiped my tears away. I cried even harder.

I spent the night, again, wrapped in Dale's arms.

The closer I was to him, the clearer my thoughts became to me. I was ruining this man's life.

I had been selfish from the beginning, unloving, dumb, harsh and a harbinger of bad events. I couldn't explain why I was this way.

I probably didn't make him feel loved in any way- I was the cause of his pack member's deaths. Members that he loved so graciously and swore protection over. I wasn't doing my job as their Luna, I wasn't doing my job as Dale's mate and I wasn't doing my job- by staying here.

Those sneers and stares of resentment the pack shared with me everyday weakened my heart. I couldn't stay here anymore. I ruined too many things for this pack, things that were beyond 'fixable.' My only thought at this point was to run away...

I was about to get up to pack my things and run away- but as I tried to slip out of Dale's tight grasp, I heard him speak...

"I've been thinking about your words all this time. Perhaps it is you who resents yourself... I'd never have the heart to resent you. Nothing can change the fact that I love you, not even something as horrible as my own pack's deaths- your old pack suffered deaths too, your father died as well. Now you bear the weight of every death onto your shoulders and you are doing it alone, so how could I not love a woman who takes the blame onto herself just so that others can feel better? The truth is, no one is to blame, everyone is to just be loved. If you plan to run away, don't. It'll only make me sadder."

This cursed mate pull! I thought to myself. He could see right through my every move... no matter what he said though, I didn't intend to stay. I had my mind made up already. I was leaving- no matter what.