Freaks Like Me [Harry Styles] (On Hold)

Prologue

"Who are you? " My inner voice asked. My voice was trembling due to the anxiety building up inside of me.

"We are the voices inside your head, prisoners of your own mind." said another voice. Its tone echoed off the walls of my brain.

"What do I do?"

"You are going to let us stay." the voice commanded.

It was around the age of nine when these voices made a dramatic change to my environment. This was the year I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Everything was fine before I started to understand them, the voices. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean they suddenly, automatically appeared, they've always been there, I just more of understood them. At first, they sounded like static or a bad cellphone call in the middle of nowhere, but as time went on they started to make sense and I actually started to listen. Some of the voices were demanding and accusatory, but the others were the complete opposite, they were calm and easygoing.

I don't really understand the purpose of these voices. All they do is torture me by robbing me of my confidence, and undoubtedly criticise me just like everyone else.

I was just a normal nine year old kid to everyone. But as soon as they found out that I had schizophrenia, they treated me like a monster. A monster with voices inside my head. Now I don't exactly remember the exact age I was when everyone and everything around me changed but, I do know that everyone just sort of left.

After my mom was informed that I was diagnosed with scizophrenia, she did everything she could to stay away from me. She moved out of the house and divorced my dad (he got full custody.) I could tell that I wasn't her adored child anymore because she never looked at me the same, ever again. Even now, in my late teens when I go to visit her on the weekends, she still doesn't look at me the same. I can see in her lying eyes that she doesn't love me, and it breaks my heart every time.

As time went on, my friends ignored me because I was different, I was not like them. I'll say it again, I'm a monster with voices in my head. They witnessed one of my "episodes" where I would scream, throw my head in my lap and cover my ears with my hands to try and shut up the screaming that goes on In my head (it never succeeds.) The voices just get angry and fuss more. So after my friends saw the whole thing, they stopped talking to me and just downright ignored the fuck out of me. Yea, it is that easy to go friendless in a blink of an eye. I was stuck with no friends, no one at all.

I walked in the shadows, all alone.

It is kinda messed up, isn't it? How all of a sudden, the people you were the most closest to just decide to never talk to you or treat you the same way again.

Even if you are slightly different, they judge and criticise you, and when I say "they," I mean society. I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be but everyone has a huge flaw. This is mine.

I am a freak.

There comes a time when you look in the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Look around, everybody is afraid to open their eyes. We are all living blind, distracted, and afraid.  Although it hurts, we still have to open them. We have to own up to what we are.

"Freak," that is what they call me. Nothing more, nothing less. No, "Freak" is not my name, or atleast not my birth name, "freak" is what everyone calls me. I don't have any siblings so I don't get teased and ridiculed by the name, I do not need anymore torment. That's the perks of being an only child, yay.

It gets lonely having nobody around to be with you. To have someone get through the hardships of life with you. When everything gets difficult, and you feel like quitting. For them to be your everything. I wish that everything will soon change so that I don't have to feel the loneliness anymore.

Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone...no matter how many people are around.

★★★

I recently accidently deleted this prologue on accident and went down a hundred reads but I put it back up again. All of you are lovely and thank you for the votes. Please vote&comment. :)